Emphatically, Ben Ryder Howe starts by saying, “No one should ever go into business with his family!” My Korean Deli: Risking It All for a Convenience Store, is his revealing memoir about buying and helping run a Korean deli for his in-laws, while working as an editor of The Paris Review. With humor, the book touches on universal topics of love, family, money and culture clashes.
This first-time novelist attended UW-Milwaukee’s 10th Annual Spring Writers Festival March 9-11 to talk to participants about the process of writing a book. Howe admits, “I spent 10 years inhaling writers’ advice at The Paris Review – everything from what color socks to wear when you are writing to what to eat for breakfast, but there comes a point when you have to just sit down and let it all out.”
By contrast, his message about the importance of taking your time was loud and clear. He says he spent almost six years writing his novel and admits he could have taken even longer. Other tidbits of advice include:
1. Have a plan
2. Stick to it
3. You have to write a really bad book before you write a really good book
4. Figure out what your characters are all about. They should be driven by something they want, but can’t get
5. You have to put your characters in trouble and not let them get out right away
6. Don’t give in to the pressure to produce quickly
Howe also advises, “publishing is a notoriously unstable business, but the good news is that old publishing models are breaking down and new independent houses are opening up, so it is a good time to try and get a book published.”
The deli idea transpired after Howe’s wife felt an obligation to repay her parents for their self-sacrifice by buying them their own business – a New York deli (or a convenience store for us Wisconsin folk). Of course, she and Ben were roped in on the management, too. To top it off, they were living in their parents basement on Staten Island while Ben was writing the book.
Kay, Howe’s mother-in-law, is the central character. She left Korea in the ‘80s, after successfully raising three kids to follow her dream of owning a business in America. “She is so strong. She’d never let herself get scared and never assumed she’d get a second chance. I learned to see the world through her eyes and I want people to fall in love with her the way I have,” Howe says, “Of course, it was the scariest moment of my life when she read it, but she was really happy with the way it turned out.”
This was Howe’s first time in Milwaukee and his first impression was that it’s a book and music-loving city. That’s a refreshing perspective considering our well-known affinity for beer, cheese and brats.
