Milwaukee’s First April Fool of the Season?

A citizenry already wearied by claims of “fake news” gears up for another season of absurdities.

Our intrepid Milwaukee County Transit System appears to have gotten a head start on April Fools (which is normally yoked to the calendar date of April 1). According to a deadly serious bulletin to local press, MCTS will be introducing “round trip service to Japan” on Saturday, April 1, by way of flying buses that have two very different wings, including one for a jetliner, as you can see below. “For far too long, Mitchell International Airport has cornered the market on flying, but that is all about to change,” says “Orville Wright,” supposedly the new head of the newly created MCTS Aeronautics Division, which is a name (Orville, not MCTS) you should recall from fifth grade science class. “Besides physics, nothing says we can’t fly a bus to the other side of the globe.”

MCTS pats itself on the back for providing “first class” service but has apparently failed to reckon with the grim realities of flying 40 people across the Pacific Ocean in a metal box with several tires but no bathroom. Other county-led experiments in aviation are afoot. Flying bus destinations are planned for Australia, Brazil, and “the moon,” which we’re going to hope is a marketing term for a couple’s retreat, or something. Perhaps most disturbing for non-fliers is how the flying buses appear to use everyday city streets as runways, which most likely does not jibe with FAA regulations.

 

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Matt has written for Milwaukee Magazine since 2006, when he was a lowly intern. Since then, he’s held the posts of assistant news editor and, most recently, senior editor. He’s lived in South Carolina, Tennessee, Connecticut, Iowa, and Indiana but mostly in Wisconsin. He wants to do more fishing but has a hard time finding worms. For the magazine, Matt has written about city government, schools, religion, coffee roasters and Congress.