One day in August 2008, Milwaukeeans woke up to learn they lived in America’s sexiest city. Then everybody went back to eating their corn flakes, but with a certain gleam in their eyes. Which raises the question: Could all those magazine rankings and various studies be right? If so, here are the key characteristics of Miltown: |
Sexy
Yep, Milwaukee was declared America’s sexiest city last year by Marie Claire. You might say our sexiness is an equal opportunity thing, considering Girlfriends magazine named this the best city for lesbians in 2001.
Sort of Smart
True, Forbes.com ranked Milwaukee at No. 5 on its 2008 list of Up-And-Coming Tech Cities (so can we quit all the eternal whining about our dreaded lack of high-tech-ness?). On the other hand, a 2008 Bizjournals report ranked us behind 36 (but ahead of 63) of the nation’s largest metropolitan areas in collective brainpower. Well, how often is the sexiest person also the smartest?
Drunk
In 2008, the Brew City fell from first to a still-sloshed No. 2 on Forbes’ list of drunkest cities. This calls for another Milwaukee Journal Sentinel series on the problem.
Unsporting
So says Sports Illustrated, which ranked us one of the worst cities for sports in 2007. May we humbly suggest they recheck their methodology?
Cultured
In 2007, Forbes.com put Milwaukee at No. 6 on its list of Most Affordable Places to Live Well because: Its “strong tradition of charitable giving … helped create cultural institutions.” And bestplaces.net ranked us 21st due mostly to our combination of museums, sports outlets (alert Sports Illustrated!), libraries, universities and parks.
Kind of Affordable
The Council on Community and Economic Research found our cost of living was near the national average.
Healthy
Somewhat surprisingly – make that incredibly – we were left off a 2009 Men’s Fitness survey of the fattest cities and instead ranked as the 11th-fittest. In fact, Wisconsin is No. 17 on the 19th annual America’s Health Rankings report; strengths include a high rate of high school graduation (86.7 percent) and low rates of infectious disease.
Green
Sustainlane.com ranked Milwaukee as the 12th-most sustainable city in 2008, citing our New Urbanist redevelopment, use of alternative energy, and outreach campaigns for recycling and water conservation. This left most cities green with envy.
Polluted
Milwaukee was named the second-worst city for those with asthma by the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America (AAFA) in 2009. We’re also the second-most toxic city in the U.S., according to BusinessWeek. We have one contaminated site for every 32 people and (ugh) 3,872 leaking storage tanks. But hey, look how green we are.
Somewhat Single
In 2008, Forbes.com placed Milwaukee in the top 30 with 28 percent of the population not married. Given all the sexy, sort of smart and single people in town, is it any wonder we are ranked No. 9 on Forbes.com’s list of Best Cities For Young Professionals?
Quick Commuters
Milwaukee was the third-best city for commuting in 2008, according to Forbes.com. Only 3.2 percent of residents here spent an hour or more commuting to work, and some of them, we suspect, just got lost.
Innovative
In 2008, National Geographic’s Adventure magazine named Milwaukee one of 50 adventurous towns that are “smart choices for the future. Not only do they have the action. They’ve got a plan.” Really. Anyone seen that plan?
Friendly
A six-year study by Cambridge University found Wisconsin is the second-friendliest state in the country. Maybe that’s why we’re the 16th-fastest-growing city, according to MarketWatch in 2008. Or maybe they’re coming here for the sex.
