A New Bartolotta Restaurant is Coming to Lake Country
This week, The Bartolotta Restaurants announced that it’s planning to open a new fine dining spot called The Commodore in Hartland. The restaurant will be in the building that once housed Seven Seas, a joint that closed in 2020 after four decades in business. The Commodore is projected to open in the summer of 2023.
I’m particularly looking forward to this place because The Commodore used to be my nickname in high school. Well, some people called me that. A couple of people. Mostly myself. Ok, my real nickname was Stinky McChunko. Happy?
The Northern Lights May Have Been Visible in Wisconsin
On Wednesday, the northern lights (aka aurora borealis) might have been visible across parts of Wisconsin. If you looked up to the sky at just the right time that night, you might have beheld nature at its most breathtaking and miraculous. If not, you can just Google Image it.
Aaron Rodgers Has a Bust of Nicolas Cage in his Locker
This week, Aaron Rodgers talked to reporters in the locker room, and showed off a new gift from a fan – a bust of the greatest living actor, Nicolas Cage. Rodgers said that the bust was sent to him without a message after he arrived at training camp in July sporting an outfit remarkably similar to Cage’s Con Air character.
I literally have nothing else to say about Nicolas Cage or Aaron Rodgers. I have written about them in this column and elsewhere roughly 10 million times. The joke well has run completely dry. Those particular beaten horses are very much dead. The fat lady has sung. Curtains closed, people. I have nothing else to say on the matter. Nothing about either of these men whatsoever.
Except, have you seen Peggy Sue Got Married? What an underrated movie. Nicolas Cage was 22 years old in it, being directed by his uncle Francis Ford Coppola. His performance was so odd that it infuriated his co-star, Kathleen Turner, and the producers demanded he be fired, but Coppola refused. Truly a phenomenal work of art.
The reigning MVP showed up as Nick Cage in Con Air 😭 @AaronRodgers12
— NFL on ESPN (@ESPNNFL) July 26, 2022
(📸 @packers) pic.twitter.com/dpL709lgXp
There’s Joe Pera Beer at Central Waters
In honor of Joe Pera, a standup comic and star of the unforgivably-canceled show “Joe Pera Talks With You,” Central Waters released a new beer this week, “Warm Apple Night.” Named after a song from Pera’s show, the beer is a Kolsch Ale with apple and honey flavors. You can pick it up at Central Waters’ tap room on the site of the old Pabst Brewing Complex. (Even if you don’t care about Joe Pera, that tap room is worth a visit). Pera is coming to the Pabst theater on Aug. 24 to do a show.
The Wisconsin State Fair Brought in Over a Million People
Two years after being canceled due to COVID, State Fair attendance has returned to seven-digit levels. This year’s event brought in 1,003,450 people, up 19% from 2021’s 841,074.
Let’s put this into perspective. If every person who went to the State Fair this year was a spicy meatball, you would have enough spicy meatballs to stretch 27.7 miles. Now that’s a lot of spicy meatballs.
It’s time to pick your Milwaukee favorites for the year!
1250-AM The Fan Ends Local Programming in Milwaukee
Some sad news this week. After 17 years, The Fan radio station, housed in Hales Corners, is shutting down. Its parent company Audacy laid off the station’s 12 hosts this week and announced that 1250-AM would be switching to national CBS sports radio. An Audacy spokesperson released a statement afterward, reading in part: “…in light of current macroeconomic headwinds, like so many other companies, we have been proactively taking actions to mitigate against the impact of any downturn.” Well, this news sucks, but at least we know that in light of current macroeconomic headwinds, like so many other companies, Audacy has been proactively taking actions to mitigate against the impact of any downturn.
A Dodgers Reporter Failed to Check Himself and Subsequently Wrecked Himself on Bernie’s Chalet
David Vassegh, a television reporter for the Los Angeles Dodgers, went down Bernie’s Chalet slide on Wednesday. The experience did not go well for him. He took off faster than my last date when I told her about my taxidermy collection. Vassegh flew down the slide yelling, “Holy crap!” and then slid out the end and straight into a wall, busting up his arm. Thankfully, the man was back up and at them shortly thereafter and in good spirits.
Now, I have something important to share about this. I did some light editing on the story by Brianna Schubert that we published about Vassegh’s sliding incident. And by light editing, I mean I added a bunch of jokes that no one asked for, which the real editor on the story subsequently cut. And I’m furious. My jokes were phenomenal and hilarious, and so I’m putting the best one in here for you all to enjoy:
Is David Vassegh a multimillion-dollar franchise starring America’s sexiest bald men? Because that man was fast and furious.
I’m a comedic genius.
99% of movies don't have a better ending than this 😂 pic.twitter.com/YXaMhPPfVc
— Jomboy Media (@JomboyMedia) August 18, 2022
Milwaukee Ale House Is Shutting Down
Twenty-five years ago, Milwaukee Ale House opened in the Third Ward. This week, it announced that it won’t be renewing its lease for the riverfront brewpub. The last day of operation will be Sept. 11, but the owners are hoping to reopen elsewhere in the future.
