I’ve been staring at this cup of ranch for what feels like a millennium, contemplating the trajectory of my life in the past 10 years. I look at the cup of Mountain Dew and coffee syrup in front of me, shining brightly under the iridescent lights of the Oak Creek Kwik Trip. As I pour a full cup of room temperature ranch into my strange soda I wonder: Is this my fate?
As an intern I get a lot of fun assignments from my editors. I’ve met so many interesting people, learned about their passions and even got the chance to go to the State Fair for the first time ever. This internship has only brought me joy, so as I logged onto a supposedly normal check in meeting I expected just that, a check in.
“Does anyone want to try a Midwest dirty soda from Kwik Trip?” they asked me.
“That sounds incredible. I’m in,” I said naively.
She sends me a video of someone making a Midwest dirty soda at Kwik Trip, which consists of Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew Code Red, two different coffee syrups, irish cream and a cup of ranch. Yes, ranch.
It’s time to pick your Milwaukee favorites for the year!
Everyone laughed as my face contorted with horror for what I agreed to do, but nonetheless I kept calm and carried on.
I convinced some friends to join me on my mission, and as we journeyed to the Kwik Trip, I thought about the magnitude of my decision. Would this be worth it for the clip? Is there a primordial being that cursed me with this task? What did I do to have this weight on my shoulders? As my thoughts race we make it to the Kwik Trip. It’s time to face fate.
I enter with the weight of the world on my shoulders. The place is abuzz with locals shopping and chatting. I stride to the soda machine and start creating the concoction. First the two flavors of Mountain Dew, then hazelnut and raspberry coffee syrup, a little Irish cream and finally a cup of ranch. The ranch refused to mix with the drink as if mother nature herself refused to allow such a monstrosity to exist. I mixed the drink for a minute and sipped…
It was good.
I hate to say it, but it was good.
The different flavors blended into a strangely refreshing beverage with the ranch adding some much needed creaminess to break up the acidity of Mountain Dew. It was as if Mountain Dew had a cream soda. I wanted to hate it with every fiber of my being, but for some reason, it was a good mix. I went home feeling good about my journey.
Maybe the key to fulfillment is drinking ranch.
