Kohl’s Is Coming Downtown
Kohl’s is the absolute best. So much stuff, for so little money. And now you can take advantage of those fantastic deals and plentiful styles right in the heart of Downtown, with Kohl’s announcing a new location in the former Boston Store building on Phillips Avenue, set to open in 2023. Even as I write this, I’m wearing clothing purchased exclusively using Kohl’s cash, and I look fly as heck. (Well, except my Versace underwear. You have to know when to splurge).

Wine Fest Returns to Milwaukee
Milwaukee Wine Fest is returning for its second year, this time at the Deer District, on Sept. 17. The showcase will be bringing over 200 wines and champagnes from around to world to Milwaukee. A general admission ticket costs $65, which I will admit is about four times what I usually spend on a bottle of wine. Ok, ok – a box of wine.
80 New Foods at the Wisconsin State Fair
This week, the State Fair announced over 80 new food and drink options for sale at its upcoming event, Aug. 4-14. They’re bonkers. Truly off-the-wall dishes. The gummy bear brat is one of the most normal. The list of options is so bonkers that instead of writing about them in this column, I wrote an entire article about them, which you can read by clicking here. And I like that article a lot, so you should read it instead of this blurb. Do it. Click on it. Come on. Just do it. What are you still doing reading this? Unless you already read the other one and are now back to reading this, in which case I hope you liked it, and I appreciate you.

Visit Milwaukee Treat Yourself Pass
Visit Milwaukee has been delivering high-quality discount passes non-stop this year, with a cheese curd pass, a beer pass and now a “treat yourself” pass. Presenting the pass gets you discounts and free treats across the city, like a buy-one-get-one scoop at Dairyland Frozen Custard or a free mint meltaway bar at Fazio’s Chocolate. Some pretty good deals there, but I have to say that as a guy who really likes sweets,“treating yourself” is a slippery slope. One day, I’m grabbing an ice cream cone after a long, hard day at work. The next day, I’m eating ten brownies to reward myself for showering.
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Fool’s Errand Is Closing
Dan Jacobs and Dan Van Rite, the two chefs behind the Third Ward’s DanDan announced this week that they’re closing their second restaurant, Fool’s Errand at the end of the month. That place was great and served up some of the best comfort food in the city, so this news is yet another in the long list of restaurant closings we’ve hated to see these past two years.

Palomino Is Also Closing (But Will Hopefully Be Back Next Year)
More bad news on the restaurant front. This week, beloved Bay View spot Palomino announced that it was closing due to staff shortages. But it may not be permanent – the space is staying open for private event reservations and the owners are hoping to reopen next year.

An Alligator Was Found Wandering Kenosha
Last week there was an alligator in Fond du Lac. This week, there’s one in Kenosha. What the hell’s going on around here? Are we turning into Florida? Come to think of it, I have been feeling the strong urge to put on a diaper full of lit fireworks just to see what might happen…