The days are beginning to change. Days that were once executed via an unwrinkled routine have now become befuddled and exhausting. Do I need a jacket today? It’s only 5 pm? What happened to the sun? Where is the heated car seat button again? The NFL season is half over? I have to spend more time inside with who? Yeah, I know. Relax, Mark. It’s nowhere near the first day of winter and you are already complaining about the weather and being stuck inside? But of course, it’s what we Wisconsinites do.
With the recent arrival of the first trace of snow, the winter blues can officially be diagnosed, thus, they can also officially be treated. And what better way to treat the blues than to have lengthy make-out sessions over cocktails the size of football helmets?
Couples, meet Two.
Two (718 E. Burleigh St.) is located snuggly against the eastern wall of its sister bar, Art Bar in Riverwest. It’s a retreat for the lovers, the duos, the doubles, the duals and even the two buddies looking for a post-game cocktail. It’s not discriminatory.
The small “2” light on the front of the building guides visitors into the cozy, dimly lit, red plush interior. The evening of our rendezvous the small bar had a few minglers and, from what I could tell, one or two of the booths built for two were occupied. You could see shoes, but the wall of beads raining down in front of the booth and the small tea candle made any detection of the residents inside nearly impossible. Were they making out? Probably!
It’s a small building, probably room for no more than 40 people (I expect a bloody-battle for booths on Valentine’s Day), so we hit the bar to get our order in so we could scurry off into a booth. The drinks were built for sharing. Like I said, football helmets. My wonder-woman and I chose the Love Potion #9 – a red, fruity concoction with lemons and limes circumferencing the rim of the glass that, when consumed, turns men into a Casanova and women into a minx (raarrr). Consequences aside, the great thing about these drinks is that they aren’t too sweet and you can split them between two people without getting a stomach or a tooth ache (but maybe a headache). Do note, there isn’t a blender on the premises, so no smoothie, ice cream or other drinks that require the small appliance. So don’t ask for a Beach Bum’s Cooler.
My brother and his girlfriend had accompanied us on this adventure; they ordered the Blue Lagoon (Blue Curacao, rum, cherries and Sprite) that, as I assumed it would, turned them into Christopher Atkins and Brooke Shields. What a drink! Other “sexy” specialty drinks were available, including Sex on the Beach, Between the Sheets and, for those that want to go all Van Gogh, Absinthe.
With drinks in hand, we headed to the back corner to settle in. There, we were greeted by two lovely paintings of naked women who were there to gaze upon our conversation and keep our attention. The mood was set. I entered the beaded doorway (getting one of the strands of beads stuck on a button of my shirt – here I was thinking my girlfriend was getting frisky before we even sat down.). Inside, the booth was cozy, keeping you close to one-another. There weren’t any make-out sessions (wink), but we did have a lot of laughs and we thoroughly enjoyed our cocktails. At about $18 a pop for the shared specialty drinks, you have to stay and finish the entire drink, otherwise you are being wasteful and your mother would “tsk, tsk” you.
There are other drink options at the bar. You aren’t required to purchase the fishbowl drinks. The barkeep is at the ready to mix whatever tickles your tonsils. For you rail mutts, keep away, they only maintain the professional liquors behind the bar. No Silver Fox Vodka or Montezuma Tequila here.
As we finished our drinks and my brother finally focused his attention away from the ladies on the wall, we headed for the door and onto our next adventure for the evening. With no offense to my brother and his lass, or any non-couple or group that enjoys Two, it would be more appropriately enjoyed as a lone-couple. With just the two, there’s no pressure to retain a group dynamic, you can toss a dollar in the juke and listen to any number of romantic crooners soundtrack your evening as you sip a cocktail, play footsie, gaze into each others eyes and get some serious PDA going in your booth. So, for one night, don’t Foursquare your whereabouts.
Thanks Two, for creating and maintaining a vehicle for the make-out couples who love to cocktail it up in this lovely city of ours. Next time, I won’t bring my brother.
