Up here, way up here with views to the west and south (including a slice of the big lake to the east), I’ve got the sun in the mornin’ and the moon at night. Life is good.
Mostly.
Folks who don’t live in condominiums perhaps assume we dwellers have it swell, but if they consider what it’s really like to live stacked one on top of another with four or five units to each floor, it doesn’t take long to figure all isn’t always swell, because, face it, every dweller has a personal agenda. At the first condo association meeting I attended, an irate dweller asked, “why don’t the roses on our terrace match? They should match.”
There’s more: It concerns condo dogs. What gives fluffy and fido the right to pee on the elevator carpet which condo association members (me) pay to have cleaned? I’ve actually seen dogs wearing diapers. If you’ve ever endured canines yapping in their units when their owners are at work, you begin to imagine the blessings of being hearing-challenged. Dogs yap, pee and more. Why should I deal with it?
And then there’s the set of “rules” regulating the disposal of trash, of which there is quite a lot. I mean when more than a hundred consumers occupy a building, it doesn’t take long before stuff stacks up like mad: bottles, kitty litter, cast-offs of all kinds, cardboard boxes, garbage galore, cans, clothing, etc., etc. For our convenience, each floor has a room marked “Trash Room,” with a slot to shoot stuff into giant bins waiting below. If you really follow the rules, it’s confusing down there in the Mother of All Trash Rooms: plastic here, bottles there, cardboard in that bin. Most of us just heave-ho down the slot, for who wants to be spotted in the elevator while humping bags of detritus to floor one where the bins are always hungry for more.
As I write, spiders spin webs on the many windows surrounding my unit. It’s what spiders do. But spiders, my friends, were hot topics at one of our monthly association meetings. After much discussion, owners were given the option of signing up for “spider control” chemicals. I’ve observed that the webs trap numerous other insects (gnats, flies) and in turn serve as fast food stops for sparrows and such. It’s amazing how condo dwellers yap about “green” living but can’t abide spiders doing their thing. These are the same folks who prefer matching roses. I opted out of the chemical solution.
When I moved here, the hall walls were hung with generic art, the art of dreamy landscapes in pastel hues. Each and every glassed and framed work is antiseptically devoid of political content. A board member recently suggested that the art be moved around, but hey, that could cause problems if dwellers come home tanked and rely on the art in their particular hallway to affirm that they’ve landed on the right floor. Trust me.
The board member’s suggestion was duly shot down.
