The older I get the more the memories of New Year’s debauchery of my youth become fuzzy. Since I worked at several Milwaukee nightclubs back in the heyday of the ’80s, I feel that I’m speaking from some experience here. Let’s just suffice to say that I know the difference between sexy and sleazy. It is a fine line and one that it seems every gal walks like a tight rope. How does one go out and welcome the New Year in sassy style without bordering on bordello? I have a few tips straight from hip for enjoying the evening while preserving your fashion reputation. Will you be naughty or nice, or somewhere in between?
Nice: Know where you are going and what you will be doing. It goes without saying that New Year’s is about dressing up. But what kind of parties are you going to? Formal, informal, bars?
Naughty: Wearing an outfit that is inappropriate for the type of celebration you’re attending. There always seems to be a few underdressed or overdressed people at every event I go to.
Nice: Dressing like a movie star in something festive, fun and flirty.
Naughty: Dressing like a porn star in something too tight, too low cut and too short.
Nice: If you are indeed going to multiple parties, dress for the ritual of getting from point A to point B. This would include wearing a dressy wool or leather jacket or coat that actually covers your dress or compliments your outfit.
Naughty: I hate seeing cropped jackets or worse yet casual fleece or parkas worn with dresses or evening clothes! It is just so wrong and cheapens the look of luxe and glamour that New Year’s Eve is all about. There is no reason not to have a proper coat for the evening’s festivities. I see way too many shivering girls with either no coat or some hideous looking sleeping bag parka thing on, standing in line to get into clubs.
Nice: Wearing tights or other hosiery with dresses and skirts. After all it is winter, and they are so totally in style right now. It is the fastest way to update any dress you already own.
Naughty: No hosiery is fine if your legs are what is on display, but just focus on baring one bit of the body at a time! Wearing a low cut, too-short dress, no hosiery, fake tan and stiletto sandals, as if it is still summer, is always a bad look.
Nice: Smart girls will carry a small clutch, or small evening bag with shoulder strap, so they won’t have to take up more than their allotted space at many of the city’s crowded establishments. How much stuff do you need to carry for an evening out?
Naughty: Lugging around an enormous hobo bag, oversized clutch or other ungainly purse. It definitely downgrades a dressy look.
Nice: Wearing something with sparkles and shine, whether it’s a beaded top or sequined tunic. Sticking with some of the season’s neutrals like taupe, putty, off white and, of course, black is a sophisticated way to glitter.
Naughty: Wearing something blindingly garish and sparkly. You don’t want to look like you just got off the circus train wreck!
Nice: Adding some bling with a statement piece of jewelry. Cuffs, necklaces, earrings and cocktail rings can add interest to a simple outfit. Just choose wisely, and only wear one of these over-the-top items at a time please.
Naughty: Wearing all your statement jewelry at once like Mrs. Roper on “Three’s Company.”
Nice: Toughening up the look of a dress by wearing boots or booties. This will be a good choice for those going here there and everywhere. It will also keep your feet warm!
Naughty: Wearing boots or booties that are worn out, or otherwise dowdy looking.
Nice: Going a little more dramatic with eyeliner, shadow, lashes and lips. Drama is the name of the game on New Year’s Eve!
Naughty: Wearing so much makeup that you look like a contestant on “RuPauls Drag Race.”
Nice: Taking it easy on the booze. Having a designated driver, using the free county bus rides or taking a taxi.
Naughty: Becoming overly intoxicated. Nothing is more unfashionable than a drunken partier who can barely stand up on her high-heeled boots.
I realize that this list is quite obvious as well as capricious, but I do encourage anyone going out this Dec. 31 to put a little thought into what they wear and how they present themselves to the rest of Milwaukee and, with Facebook and whatnot, the world. After all, great fashions are about ideas, and keep in mind that New Year’s Eve is a spectator sport!
Next week: My picks for The Best and Worst of Style for 2010!
