Reporters get a shipload of press releases. Usually they end up in the trash bin faster than you can say “flack.” But occasionally, for cheap amusement, I’ll hold on to the ones that are written with flair or just wacky. Here’s a few that grabbed me:
– “Milk-Bone, America’s favorite dog snack, celebrates its 100th anniversary. That’s 700 in dog years!”
– “National Clean You Home Office Day is March 13.” (Who knew? Who cares?)
– First rescue center for gorillas to open in Eastern Africa.” (A little far flung for Milwaukee Magazine.)
– “Sorry for the short notice. We just finished the filming of “Mysteria” (starring Robert Miano, Danny Glover and Martin Landau). Our wrap party will take place tonight at the Tea-Room, 1738 N. Orange Dr. in Hollywood. Open vodka bar, black tie dress code. Can you make it?” (Again, a little far flung. And besides, my tux was at the cleaners.)
– “This is from Save the Manatee Club featuring our Adopt-A-Manatee program… We hope you might consider including it in your fall or winter issue, or adding manatee adoptions to your Holiday Gift Guide.” (Who pays for shipping and handling?)
– “Survey data reveals first date do’s and don’ts… Be courteous and wear deodorant: 46% of singles say body odor is the biggest first date no-no.”
– “Five ways to be more intimate with your partner.” (Let me guess: Be courteous and wear deodorant?)
– And there was this one: “So many men are fed up with their ‘man boobs.’ The nation will definitely want to hear about this new, quick, and safe procedure, so we would be grateful if you could read the press release and help us pass this information on…”
I’ll do my best to get out the news, as always.
