There is only one other time of year besides All Hallows Eve that I can think of when normally sane people go out of their way to enter the realm of the scarily/sleazy. That’s New Year’s Eve. For Halloween, out come the “naughty” costumes. Simply add fishnets, a short skirt, and stripper heels to any outfit, and “voila” a naughty (insert noun here) nurse, schoolteacher, zombie, etc. is born!
Truly uber-tacky costumes are on display on many a costume website for viewing but hopefully not buying. Such lack of taste goes with the territory of the “scream queens” of the ’80s. Horror-meisters have always known what sells their films: blood, gore and pretty girls in skimpy outfits running from and being bludgeoned by some hideous, usually male creature. The culture of these films is rooted in teenage male fantasy. And if you ponder it long enough, it becomes all too clear that this is kind of a palatable misogyny, which is looked at as tame or even laughable. No 
matter what you think, smart women voluntarily adopt these looks at a cost to their pride and, needless to say, reputation. But I guess it is hard to know who is whom under the camouflage of masks, makeup and the party sensibility in bar after bar they strut around in. Why aren’t women standing up and asking men to don barely there costumes? I guess that happens only at the gay clubs or possibly because our culture doesn’t deem it as acceptable to objectify men.
Lady Gaga (See the pictures of the full range of Gaga costumes available for purchase.) and Marilyn Manson are the queen and king of kink couture and essentially dress in Halloween costumes year-round. Did anyone see Lady G’s panty ensemble as she s
auntered through LAX? Or Mr. Manson’s gender-bending looks in his videos and promotional material? What woman in their right state of mind thinks he’s hot? Under that makeup must be an Adonis, I guess. If these people aren’t as frightening yet fascinating to you as they are to me, you probably don’t enjoy the Halloween weekend with all the over-the-top frills it entails. I found some ridiculously sexy and sexual costumes online and wanted to share them with you. All I could think of was, “If only their mothers could see them now!” Holy canoli! These are some sleazeriffic costumes. Just check out the Britney Spears “costume,” and I do use the term very loosely. This pink atrocity looks more like an escapee from a 
prostitute circus! I wonder what her kids wore that year. What about the ultra-demure “Detention School Girl” costume in all its jailbait glory? I think I recognize her from VH1’s “Rock of Love Charm School.” And just get a load of the classy “Top Chef” costume, complete with miniskirt and cleavage. I wonder if she knows how to use a whisk.
Some of the costumes I would love to see would be referential to cable televisions most outrageously entertaining shows. Think of just how many “Snooki’s” there will be with the pouf, orange glow makeup, dumpy T-shirt, hot pants and fuzzy slippers. Or for that matter, “Situations” for the guys, with “Guido” gelled hair, CZ ear studs and man tan. This will work for some though you might need to do a zillion crunches before going out. Remember, GTL folks! “Real Housewives of (fill in blank here)” would be easy to achieve for almost anyone. 
Get some “unbeweavable” hair extensions, pile on the makeup, wear some clothing at least two sizes too small and start a catfight with the woman next to you. That would be fun.
Even high-fashion mags have gotten into the act as well. A few months ago, Vogue did a piece with a gray-haired Kristen McMenamy washed up and oily on the rocks in designer duds. It was kind of creepy, and I guess this passed for “edge.” She seemed a bit frightening to this viewer. London-based designer Katie Eary recently did some scary stuff with menswear. Models with skeletal remains parading entrails as decoration down the runway, with weird eye helmet things. I do like provocation even when it’s bad, don’t you? Then there was the Tim Burton-inspired shoot that was done for Harper’s Bazaar, a brilliant look at the kooky, crazy world of a true spooky auteur, albeit one with some taste.
When Halloween 2010 in Milwaukee has come and gone, and all that’s left are embarrassing Facebook photos to remember it by, I will wistfully long for the day when dressing like a tramp meant a “hobo” and not a “ho.”
