Dear Nikol,
My ex-husband and the father of my kids, recently married wife #3. #2 kicked him out after four years. The problem is, the ex is 80 and his new wife is 30. I guess it doesn’t matter that she’s a stripper (and has a boyfriend in prison) but my entire family is distressed that their dad has fathered a child with her. He’s quite wealthy and the clan is freaked that she’ll siphon off his estate one way or another. What a soap-opera mess. Should we just throw in the towel, roll over and fuggitaboutit? Or should be try to prove the old man is senile? That shouldn’t be hard.
Concerned in Milwaukee
Dear Concerned,
Did you stay up too late watching bad movies? I can’t even keep up with the elements of this dubious tale. But I will treat this as if it is all happening in good old Milwaukee instead of the deep south, because stranger things have happened.
Kudos to you for not trying to pretend that you care about anything beyond inheritance. Now how about you and your kids butt out of ‘Ol Poppy’s marital situation and maybe they could refocus on spending some time with him in his autumn years. If their relationship with him is so far in disrepair that there is concern over being cut out of the will, no amount of new wives are going to adversely affect their standing.
While this man might be a total old fool, your burden of legal proof would have to be that he lacked the mental capacity to understand what this marriage meant. I’m not an attorney, so I could be off the mark, but it may cost you and your family much more in legal costs than you may stand to gain.
Oh, and CIM? How dare you point the gnarled finger of judgment on Wife 3 because she is a stripper. I’m going to assume that your addition of the “boyfriend in prison” caveat is a juicy bit of gossip meant to inspire anyone hearing your tale of woe to see it as the last straw. At least she’s got a J-O-B, which indicates that she is making her own money, not just sitting back and rubbing Daddy’s wrinkled toes while she calculates all the stilettos she can buy once he falls dead. And on top of that, she has a child with your ex. That child is just as entitled to inherit as anyone in the family.
So, yes, my opinion is that you should just, as you so eloquently said, “fuggitaboutit” and perhaps find a way to create a life free of this soap opera drama. I know it can be hard to resist. A lot of people thrive on these messes, and I will have to assume you are about 80 yourself (after all, you would never be the younger woman since you despise them so). Live out the rest of your days enjoying what you have and be an example for your children of the kind of happiness they can achieve beyond estates.
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Questions?
If you have a question for Nikol, you can reach her confidentially at nikolknows@milwaukeemagazine.com. Your anonymity will be protected.
