The governor’s short-lived presidential campaign ended about $1 million in the red. He’s since made slow progress in squaring up, but we have a few suggestions to help him back into the black.
1. Sell peanuts on the state Capitol’s observation deck.
2. Organize a “Date the Guv” bachelor auction. (Note: Check with Tonette first.)
3. Take state-issued black SUV out as an Uber. If recognized, claim to be a distant uncle from “Full House.”
4. Convert the grounds of the governor’s mansion into a ginseng farm.
5. Offer a web seminar on how to lose a presidential race on just $90,000 a day.
6. Confer with U.S. Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Janesville) on how to retire debt by cutting taxes.
7. Offer overnight stays in the “Dreyfus Bedroom.”
8. Put campaign paraphernalia on eBay, including the Reagan-embroidered handkerchief Walker cried into shortly before bowing out.
9. Invest in Wisconsin’s leading bicycle manufacturer (anonymously, of course).
10. Lease bald spot to Clear Channel as advertising space.