I’m not going to regale you with the story of the Deep Thought aka the Milwaukee Minnow aka The Boat aka that boat those people left on the Milwaukee shoreline for months until the county had to tow it over the rocks to finally get the heavily vandalized thing out of here aka the bread and butter of Milwaukee social media for nearly a year. If you’re not familiar with the long and winding Odyssey, you can read this story or this one or this one.
Suffice it to say, after towing the boat, the Milwaukee County put Deep Thought up for auction on GovDeals, an online marketplace that that sells surplus inventory for government agencies. I will confess that before the boat went up for sale I was entirely unaware of this site’s existence – and that’s a tragedy worth of Shakespeare.
My God, GovDeals is a wonderland of strange, industrial, sometimes frightening items on sale across the country. A Buehler Metallurgical Apparatus? They got it. A 100 Ton Crawler Crane? Of course. “Approx. 18 Assorted Hard Hats”? Heck yes.
Now those particular items are scattered around the nation – you’d have to be willing to drive quite a distance to pick them up. We were wondering what GovDeals stuff was available within a semi-reasonable driving distance of Milwaukee. So we searched – and we found. Here’s just some of the local stuff on GovDeals right now:
(Take note – these auctions go fast so if you’re actually serious about buying any of these things … first off, nice! Second off, keep an eye on the time left. I wanted to put all the photos in this article, but it looks like GovDeals has the rights – so you’ll have the click on the links to see what these babies look like.)
1. 49 Stacking Student Chairs
Fair warning – according to the description, these chairs that the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee have for sale are “not tested.” I repeat – no one has tested these chairs. I don’t know about you, but normally when I purchase 49 Stacking Student Chairs, I just have to make sure they’re tested first.
2. 6 Nikon Compound Microscopes
Sometimes I miss high school science class. That’s mostly because I was young and still had some light behind my eyes. But hey, maybe using microscopes again will again bring some light back into my life! These six compound microscopes seem prime for looking at some small stuff.
3. A Church Building in Central Illinois
I know Waggoner, Illinois is a little further south than the rest of this stuff, but I just had to include this. I mean, it’s an entire church building for sale! Look at it. Honestly, considering the housing market right now this might be a smart purchase.
4. Physiograph
Did I have to google what a physiograph is? No, of course not. I know things. And I definitely could use “a laboratory instrument used in physiology and biomedical research to record and analyze various physiological signals and responses.”
5. Battenfeld BA500 CD Plus Injection Molder
Do you want this 1992 injection molder from UWM? Well, according to the description the buyer “must hire a millrite/industrial mover at their own expense and industrial mover must provide proof of liability insurance prior to removal.” So keep that in mind, my friends.
6. 1994 Jetline M-30 Baggage Tractor
It’s a Southwest baggage carrying thing! This is awesome. No more hauling my luggage two yards from my door to my car.
7. 2012 International 7400
I was excited when I saw this truck for sale in Elm Grove, but then I realized that it’s super busted. “Known issues are both rear leaf spring packs have broken leaves, possible EGR cooler leaking coolant, turbo downpipe is dented and leaking, DPF needs to be cleaned or replaced, DOC needs to be replaced.”
Man, I don’t even know what those acronyms mean. Dirty Pillows Fuming? Dank Old Cobwebs? Dang, People Fighting?!
8. Zero Turn Mower
Unlike much of what’s for sale on GovDeals, this thing is actually in “good condition” according to the description. It’s a big commercial grade mower that was going for $2,000 as of the last time I checked the auction. Honestly, if you’re in need, this might not be a bad deal.
9. ST235/85R16 Radial Trailer Supercargo Tire
This is just a tire.
10. Trek Verve 2 Bike 20″ Height 11 Speed
The title says this bike is in “great condition,” if you’re willing to rock n roll down to Union Grove to get it.
11. Gas Powered Concrete Cut Off Saw
Do you need to cut concrete? Yeah? … Why exactly? You know what, never mind. This saw might work. The description says it “worked when pulled from use 1+ years ago. Has sat around since then.”
