The year is 2094. The tattered remnants of humanity fight to survive in a world no longer made for them. Through jungle junkyards, they limp weak and weary, knowing only hunger and the relentless will to survive that has kept from them from the same fate that has befallen so many of their fellow creatures.
You are a hairless, irradiated husk of a person. You must scavenge through the rubble, living off berries and roots and hunting what little you can, while avoiding the hordes of ravenous mutated beasts that roam these lands – and those men who have become nothing more than animals themselves. You have only a slingshot with which to defend yourself.
Also, “Electric Feel” is playing overhead, and that song is an absolute bop.
This, dear reader, was how I felt when I visited the grand opening of Slingshot Bar, purported to be the world’s first indoor slingshot range (seriously!), located in sunny West Allis. The range full of artfully placed junk, and the flying pellets pinging off it all, gives off a post-apocalyptic vibe toward which I felt felt an immediate affinity. (Was it what other patrons felt? Maybe not. My teachers always said I was unique – that was why I was never allowed to use the sharp scissors.)
“This concept has been in the works for quite a while – and it truly is one of a kind,” said Marla Poytinger, the president and CEO of Slingshot Bars ownership group, Bars and Recreation, at its grand opening event on Thursday. “It is truly unexpected, fun and very unique – an experience we love to create.”
Slingshot Bar is the latest addition to Bars and Rec’s portfolio of venues, which combine booze and activities, such as axe-throwing at Axe MKE or Hyperbowling at The New Fashioned. The aptly named Slingshot Bar definitely ups the ante when it comes to the novelty of activity-boozing, with patrons lining up at a 60-foot range to sling shots at the “jungle junkyard” themed plethora of moving and stationary targets. (Personally, I won’t be satisfied until Bars and Rec opens a medieval jousting arena on Lincoln Memorial Drive – three-drink minimum before you’re allowed to get on a horse.)
The new bar is now open to the public. This weekend, it opens on Friday at 6 p.m. and Saturday and Sunday at 10:30 a.m.
“I am happy to stand here today and welcome this entity,” said West Allis Mayor Dan Devine at the grand opening event, which I thought was a little funny because it sounded like Slingshot Bar is an extra-terrestrial that has made its home in Stallis.
The new bar/slingshot destination is located inside a former garage-turned-industrial building. The place was redone floor-to-ceiling. Vines and greenery dangle overhead, the range is full of detritus, including a spinning boat, a jeep, and a Third Space Happy Place sign. Outside the range, the space is largely taken up by a four-sided central bar because this is Wisconsin. You think slingshots alone will amuse us? Fat chance.
Speaking of alcohol, West Allis’ Ope Brewing, just a short drive away on National Avenue, brewed an apricot pale ale named “Ope! You’ll Shoot Your Eye Out,” an exclusive collaboration available at Slingshot Bar. On the food side, we’re talking pizza and pretzels, baby – the food of the angels.
For the record, you can’t bring those beers or pizzas up to the range. To sling a shot, you’ll have to sign a waiver and slide on some protective plastic goggles. From there, you’ll be given a small slingshot with a dangling rubber strap and a cupful of metallic pellets to shoot down range – a symphony of metallic clinks ring out across the range when people are hitting solid shots. Targets run the gamut from small metal plates with bullseyes to the aforementioned big ol’ jeep parked in the center of the range.
A regular session lasts 75 minutes, with 100 pellets to send flying. You can reserve a spot on the range starting Oct. 15 here. The bar also welcomes walk-ins.
As I left Slingshot Bar, I planned my return to that jungle junkyard to do battle through the apocalyptic waste with nought but my trusty sling and 100 pellets – and a couple beers.
