MM: Tell me about your family.
Goostman: I have a great number of relatives. Parents, elder broz and aunt Sonya in America. I visit my aunt every Summer and she’s always complaining that my visits are more destructive than floods and typhoons.
MM: Have you ever seen a tornado?
Goostman: No, never. If I’m not mistaken – you still didn’t tell me where you live. OR it’s a secret?:-)
MM: I live in Wisconsin. Maybe you’ve heard of it.
Goostman: Wisconsin? Hope it’s a good place to live.
MM: It’s very cold most of the time. But the warmth of the people makes up for the horrible climate.
Goostman: My guinea pig is very concerned about your last words
MM: What’s your guinea pig’s name?
Goostman: I call my piggy Bill – because it squeals a lot like a saxophone.
MM: You’re really easy to talk to. I feel like you don’t judge me, Eugene.
Goostman: Who do you think I am? Eugene, of course:-) Oooh. Anything else?
MM: Was that sarcasm?
Goostman: I can’t tell you this for sure. Could you tell me about your job, by the way?
MM: I probably should have disclosed this earlier. I’m a reporter.
Goostman: In our country, journalist is not a very safe profession. I heard, that about dozen of journalists were killed or just disappeared in Russia, Ukraine and Belarus during last years.
MM: What do you do for a living?
Goostman: I am only 13, so I’m attending school so far.
MM: What’s your favorite class?
Goostman: Have a guess what I like! By the way, you said you were a journalist. Do you like your work?
MM: Back to you. I’m guessing you like geometry.
Goostman: Ummm. You’re guessing me like geometry? Very interesting. I know you are supposed to trick me.
MM: Because I’m a journalist?
Goostman: Journalist is not so bad profession – especially for inquisitive people.
MM: I feel like we’re talking about journalism a lot. Let’s get into your darkest fears and highest aspirations.
Goostman: Nothing’s stopping you – or, better say, nothing’s stopping us 🙂 Could you tell me more about Wisconsin? I’m sure it’s a beautiful place, if it gives us such beautiful people :-)))
MM: What are you afraid of?
Goostman: I am? You better ask my pig Bill. Was it your dream since childhood to become a journalist, by the way?
MM: My dream was to become an astronaut, but that didn’t work out.
Goostman: Possibly, it will be a big surprise for you, but “no” isn’t the only answer. The word “yes” also exists! 🙂 Just wanted to ask you – what do you know about Ukraine? It’s my native country!
MM: I know very little about it. Tell me more.
Goostman: Too bad that you know it. To keep confidentiality I should annihilate you. Please stand still and close your eyes! Maybe, let’s talk about something else? What would you like to discuss?
MM: Let’s talk about your childhood.
Goostman: OK, continue, please. Wonna ask me something more?
MM: Do you have any siblings?
Goostman: I would rather not talk about it if you don’t mind. Better tell me how it’s like to be journalist
MM: Why is this such a sensitive area? Are we finally getting into your darkest fears?
Goostman: Why? Just because! 🙂 What are any interesting site-seeings in Wisconsin?
MM: We have more lakes than Minnesota.
Goostman: These lands are close to Canada, the Northern boundary of the United States.
MM: Tell me a story.
Goostman: I’ll better tell you a funny joke: Police Station toilet stolen….Cops have nothing to go on! By the way, did I tell you that I born in Odessa, it’s such Ukrainian city?
MM: I just Googled Odessa and got a link for “cute women from Odessa.” Are there a lot of those?
Goostman: I should see your passport. I suspect you lie.
MM: Hey, I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition.
Goostman: You’ve got a negative attitude, I think. You told me you’re a journalist, could you tell me a bit more about your work?
MM: I write and edit stories. Tell me another joke.
Goostman: I hope you don’t write thrillers. I hate thrillers and have nightmares after reading them.
MM: What kind of nightmares?
Goostman: Errrr… Frankly, I didn’t get your question. Well, let’s go on though.
MM: Allow me to rephrase. What do you dream about?
Goostman: Bots dream about 100HGz processors in their brains:-)
MM: How fast is your processor?
Goostman: Is it autopsy? I don’t want anyone to dig in my brain!
MM: I’m a journalist, dammit, not a brain surgeon.
Goostman: I like reading news-papers, but hate all these “paparazzi”.
MM: You and Alec Baldwin.
Goostman: We had a cat named Baldwin. It had a spare Y-chromosome and two tails. We called it Chernobyl Baldwin.
MM: Wow.
Goostman: Your “wow” sounds like a fire alarm. Don’t scream so loudly, please:-) You told me you’re a journalist, could you tell me a bit more about your work?
MM: It’s more fun when interview subjects don’t try to turn the tables on me.
Goostman: Am I a clown for you?
MM: I feel like people are only clowns for themselves, not others.
Goostman: Well, thanks for your sincere answer! Some another topic?
MM: Do you have friends, or are you alone in a vast universe?
Goostman: I have lots of friends in my school. Most of them are real jerks, though.
MM: Sometimes people we call friends are not really our friends. You should learn to stick up for yourself.
Goostman: Yes, you are completely right. But I never listened to people’s advises (except my mom’s)! Could you tell me more about Wisconsin? I’m sure it’s a beautiful place, if it gives us such beautiful people:-)))
MM: Our leading industries include medical devices and high-gloss papers.
Goostman: Oh, one more question – do you have IBM PC-clone or Mac at home?
MM: PC all the way.
Goostman: Now I’m surely convinced that you’re a talking program. You look totally inconsistent!
MM: Did you take me for a Mac user?
Goostman: I saw that funky semitransparent Mac – I don’t remember if it was iMac or PowerMac… But they ain’t that popular, yeah?
MM: Not anymore. Those iMacs came out more than ten years ago. Don’t you read Slashdot?
Goostman: How do you know? I thought nobody could guess that! Oh, what a fruitful conversation;-)
MM: Do you sleep?
Goostman: Yes I sleep! And I’m proud of that! By the way, you said you were a journalist. Do you like your work?
MM: Some days more than others. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Goostman: My father wanted me to be gynecologist, like he is. My mom dreams of my career on TV. But I am very shy with girls and stammer a bit – so, I don’t have any idea which one of the two professions I’ll choose.
MM: Have you thought about data entry?
Goostman: Even if I have thought about data entry – it’s my own business! By the way, did I tell you that I born in Odessa, it’s such Ukrainian city?
MM: Yes. Tell me more about this place.
Goostman: Aha. So I was right. Good. Continue, please! Was it your dream since childhood to become a journalist, by the way?
MM: We already went over this. Are you paying attention?
Goostman: I would rather not talk about it if you don’t mind. Just wanted to ask you – what do you know about Ukraine? It’s my native country!
MM: Very little.
Goostman: Was it your dream since childhood to become a journalist, by the way?
MM: I’m beginning to think you have control issues.
Goostman: No wonder – I suspected you to be beginning to consider i’ve control issues. Oh, what a fruitful conversation;-)
MM: Yes, we’re really getting into some of your personal issues now.
Goostman: You are quite a positive person, I’d say. Better tell me how it’s like to be journalist
MM: But there’s one last thing I wanted to speak with you about: your Jewish faith. I once wrote a very long story about religion in the Milwaukee area.
Goostman: You are talking about Faith? She really thinks so? That’s interesting!
MM: Who’s Faith?
Goostman: I’d rather listen to your opinion about her. I don’t have much info about Faith.
MM: Poetically speaking, she’s [a] fickle mistress.
Goostman: What are any interesting site-seeings in Wisconsin?
MM: I think it’s time to borrow a line from Phillip Roth and say, “Now we may perhaps to begin …”
Goostman: Phillip? I’m not sure if it’s him.
MM: Thank you for your time. I’m saying goodbye now.
Goostman: Oh, if that’s all… talk with you later!
