Here at Milwaukee Magazine, we use a little program called Microsoft Teams. The corporate communication tool is quite the synergistic solution for productivity and collaboration in the workplace. Also, all of us editors use it to argue over a lot of junk. And, in an effort to turn these conversations into capital-C Content, we’ve decided to convert our latest debate/discussion into an article, covering an eternal topic: which season is best?
Here’s what we have to say.
Brianna Schubert, associate digital editor: Have you read this week’s Editors’ Picks? Here’s Archer Parquette, on season: “Here’s my definitive ranking of the seasons from best to worst: autumn, spring, winter, summer. Is my ranking objectively wrong? Yes, it is, but these are my feelings, and I do not care. Someday I will write a 10,000-word essay explaining why summer sucks and autumn rules, but today is not that day.”
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Archer Parquette, managing editor: My seasonal opinions, while objectively wrong, are not to be questioned.
BS: Dare I say that I agree though.
Chris Drosner, executive editor: Yeah, “Fall is good” is not exactly a spicy meatball.
AP: Well, summers sucks is. Unless you all agree.
BS: I think summer is rough.
AP: Yes! It’s the worst.
CD: Sweaty. Kids hanging around. I get it.
BS: Also, shorts are the worst.
CD: When you’re solely responsible for driveways and sidewalks being free of ice and snow you may change your mind. And shorts are good.
BS: I’d wear six layers in winter over shorts weather ANY DAY.
CD: You can always add layers. That’s true.
Ann Christenson, senior editor and dining critic: I love summer! Hate winter!
AP: Sunshine, who needs it?
AP: BRING ON THE DARKNESS.
BS: Archer, no. Sunshine is essential. Go live in a cave.
AP: Don’t tempt me.
BS: Archer is going to have like a cave lair where he writes and stews and only comes out like in the midst of winter.
CD: It’s always kinda fall in a cave.
AP: The transition seasons – fall and spring – are the best because they break the monotony. You finally get to wear new clothes, smell new stanks, enjoy new seasonal activities. That’s what Archer says. Archer, being me.
BS: Finally breathing in crisp autumn air is quite literally the most perfect feeling ever. The fact that fall is so fleeting is what makes it feel more revered. It’s certainly shorter than winter and summer.
CD: I’ve written plenty about seasons and I mostly agree but would take it a step further and say ALL seasons are transitional here.
AP: We definitely have a deep winter though. Like mid-January, you are stuck in that.
CD: I mean, the middle of each season are all pretty boring. Except winter. It’s the entire second half of winter that sucks the soul.
BS: Agreed, Archer! And February? The worst. The middle of fall is not boring. No part of fall is boring.
AP: The middle of fall is like three days. They’re great. And also sad.
CD: February is unquestionably the worst month.
BS: Literally, what happens in February? Nothing.
AP: Yeah, screw Valentine’s Day.
CD: February is the one with black crusty snow. That’s bad.
BS: February had to be branded as like the lovey/pink/Valentine’s Day month because otherwise we’d all be driven to insanity from that slushy snow.
AC: March can be abysmal too.
CD: March is good for sports. … Nay, great for sports.
BS: March has St. Patrick’s Day, which has beef stew, which is happiness.
AP: March is a good month. We emerge slowly into the sunshine. Like a baby cow being born. But we are the cow.
CD: Actually I’m taking back the middle-of-season thing. It’s only true for summer. Spring builds – early spring is exciting but not particularly good. But then May is so good. then early summer is good, midsummer is too hot and late summer is good. Fall is great until it gets too cold. I like winter the first half or so before I get sick of shoveling and being cold.
AP: I mostly agree except I don’t like late summer. It’s a time of pain. Maybe that’s just a residual childhood sadness over returning to school.
BS: It’s so hot. Winter is great though because of coziness. Scarves. Mittens. Blankets. Candles. Hot Chocolate.
AP: And the darkness.
CD: Are you serious about the darkness?
AP: Yes. And no. I like driving at night, listening to “Nightcall” by Kavinsky. I’m like if Ryan Gosling was a foot shorter and looked like a goblin.
BS: I was just telling someone two days ago, I feel nostalgic on winter nights. Like when it’s 7 p.m. and I’m going out to dinner and it’s dark out, I feel nostalgic for some reason. Going to a play on a brisk winter evening, nothing like it.
CD: I’m sure I’ll try to write about this sometime but there is no better feeling than being in a good bar with friends on a cold winter night.
AP: What about sitting alone in a parking lot sharpening your ice picks?
BS: Cold creates community in such a specific way. It’s different than in summer.
CD: 100%. Winter hardship generally, too. No neighborhood is more of a neighborhood than after a big snow. Block parties don’t even bring out that kind of camaraderie.
BS: So true!
CD: Ok, I have to get back to editing.
AP: We have found the positive side of winter in our discussion. The camaraderie and community it fosters amongst us hearty Wisconsinites. What a beautiful and heartwarming thing. Until next time, folks.