My head is swimming. I’ve been paying attention to the news. I have been paying attention to what politicians say and do. I’ve been paying attention to, and reading, what friends, and friends of friends, have been posting/linking. I have recalled the difficult, emotional conversations with those I know who have either been raped or had an abortion. I’ve sought out to read both the works of Mr. Ryan and the works of Ms. Rand. All in a true effort to understand how the conversation got here in the hopes to help move forward in 2012.
Bear with me as I try to get this out. And I need to get it out if I’m true to myself when answering why I write (to express and share how to be more comfortable, and there for you, in your relationships with others and yourself). I’ve tried several times this past week to get this post started. Each new start began as a stream of conscience reaction to the news. An idea here, an angry tirade there. Trying to capture the notion of foul play by politicians who have a responsibility to know better, who need reminders it’s 2012 and not 1950. Certain lawmakers made it clear they had their heads in comic books rather than paying attention in basic biology and philosophy classes. Leaders who made it clear they still aren’t paying attention.
Because I have a tendency, okay more than a tendency, to edit as I write, I became extremely frustrated with this post. Thoughts came flying at me faster than I could process: definitions of “legitimate” and “forcible” and why they were used in the first place; did he really just say the “female body has ways to try and shut that down,”?; Ayn Rand is require reading for your staff? Yes, I get why you like her philosophies on economics, but not all her ideas jive with your social agenda.
Growing up in a political family, I had the fortunate, or perhaps, unfortunate, education of realizing what politicians say isn’t the whole story; what politicians get done is conducted more behind closed doors than for public consumption; and how politicians vote has more to do with who contributed the most money than how many constituents contact their office. It has been this way for years, long before the McCain-Feingold bill made the issue mainstream.
Put it all together and this whole business of anti-women politics has put me in the foulest of moods. And while I am grateful to our President for coming out right away and saying, “Rape is rape,” I am fearful the idea that started this firestorm is so entrenched in an agenda (with followers who parrot leaders rather than question reasoning) by irresponsible leaders who have left a harmful impression on future generations as to what is acceptable when addressing violent crimes; as well as putting a back-of-the-mind false fear that if they are ever a victim of a violent crime, they better be ready for more cruelty than compassion when coming forward.
This week I found myself asking: Why aren’t women being held in higher regard? Why the assault on women? When are we going to say enough is enough? I hate it when politics dances on the edge of infringing all we can be.
I’m just plain exhausted. But let me take one more step here…
In trying to figure out how we got to this conversation in the first place, I took a step back to think about how people find out anything these days. I took some time to review the fourth estate.
I must admit in the here and now that because of my bachelor’s degree in broadcast communications, I am biased. Plus my exposure to news was enhanced at an early age as my father was a reporter with the Milwaukee Sentinel before he was a lawyer and politician. I grew up loving news. The facts. The storytelling. The truth. But make no mistake, with that love came the understanding of the work it took to get a good story and a good reputation. It’s this long-standing love affair with news that makes today’s news arena so deflating for me.
Where Walter Cronkite and Edward R. Murrow focused on getting the story and getting it right, nowadays the fourth estate is consumed with filling time, 10-second sound bites, lighting, and image. I’m old enough to remember when reporters interviewed news makers rather than each other–when experts on policy were actual policy makers and not a news colleague. This news shift from reporters and producers focusing on actual news, to focusing on news image and brand, creates a void few understand. News programs are just the first step to further investigation. These days we don’t have a “most trusted man in America” to rely on. Now we have Krystal Ball giving her political commentary while perfectly poised and coiffed in her sleeveless designer dress and flashing white smile. (I’m not kidding with that name, by the way.)
And there isn’t anything wrong with beautiful people. Many beautiful people are smart. I have no doubt Krystal Ball, despite her parents’ sense of humor, is smart. But when it comes to news, I want news, not a fashion show. I don’t give a flying fig if the policy maker has a mole on his/her nose, or that executive has a receding hairline, or the reporter looks like Pat from a SNL skit. Give me news without the fashion attitude. News isn’t pretty, so stop trying to put lipstick on that pig and serve it straight up.
And what in the name of Mike has this got to do with Sunday Boyfriend? Glad you asked.
For as politicians aren’t as transparent as they should be, for the lack of substance in news these days, there is a personal responsibility to dig deeper in order to get to a proper understanding. So too, must you dig deeper within yourself to identify what your needs are to find, keep, enjoy the perfect Sunday Boyfriend. Because no matter what it seems on the outside, there are whole sets of rules and operations that make politics and news organizations run; just as there are rules you live by to function that are as unique as you are. And no matter how we wish things ran better, smoother, they move the way they move. Politics. News. You. Your Sunday Boyfriends.
So realize as with politics, with news, and Sunday Boyfriend relationships, it doesn’t matter how you dress the outside, understanding the working functions will enable you to know more, be more, and contribute more.
Here’s hoping more of us dig deeper to find out more about the world around us, the messages that affect us, and the relationships that shape us.
As always stay comfy, be good to yourself and all your Sunday Boyfriends.
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