Oh, the things we can extrapolate from the preseason exploits of your Green Bay Packers.
Start with the offense. Assuming you can even call it such a thing. Because based on those four exhibition games, it will stink like the campfire scene in Blazing Saddles. The once-upon-a-time juggernaut averaged just 18.5 points per game. You know who averaged 19 in the 2011 regular season? The Denver Broncos. So if you liked Tebowmania, you’ll love this year’s Pack.
Speaking of quarterbacks, Aaron Rodgers is clearly a bum. So bad, in fact, that his coach keeps benching him before the second half starts. Judging by minutes played and total production, the torch has been passed. This is Graham Harrell’s team now.
And who will Harrell be throwing to? Not star receiver Greg Jennings. He’s missed half the games with a concussion. Well, there’s Jarrett Boykin, the team’s preseason receiving yards leader. But three of the top five preseason receivers got cut, so maybe the Packers won’t be throwing much at all.
Of course, leading rusher Marc Tyler was cut, too. So maybe they won’t be running it much, either. Unless their second-leading rusher is up for a position change to halfback, which actually might be the case. Because that guy is Aaron Rodgers, who, as you know, isn’t the quarterback anymore.
Well, maybe the defense will be better thanks to an improved pass rush. And not just because of all those draft picks. Hey, Eric Walden had two sacks. Step aside, Clay Matthews.
As for the playoffs… Playoffs? Don’t talk about playoffs. You kiddin’ me? Playoffs? They just hope they can win a game. Because judging by their preseason record, this is nothing more than a .500 team. So much for that dynasty talk.
Yes, you can do a lot of things with preseason numbers. Except, of course, draw any real conclusions from them. And about this time every year, some jittery fans need a friendly reminder: The NFL preseason matters as much today as it has in the last quarter-century, which is to say hardly at all.
We won’t go back 25 years, because one will do. Remember how many points the Packers averaged in the 2011 preseason? Of course you don’t, and neither did I. But the records show it was 22.25 per game, hardly an indicator that great things were on the horizon, like 35 points per game and Rodgers’ MVP season.
So yes, when it comes to extrapolation, stick to the team that went 15-1 last year. Because maybe when Rodgers plays a whole game once or twice, he’ll look like the best quarterback on planet earth. That would certainly improve Green Bay’s chances.
So would an improved defense, which shouldn’t be too tough a feat, considering it’s got nowhere to go but up. Think of it as a fringe benefit from 2011, when the Packers had the worst pass defense in NFL history. Will all those rookies they’re counting on be great? Probably not. Useful? Far more likely. And after last season, a little improvement could go a long way, especially when paired with that offense.
Put it all together, and the Packers might even win 12 games this year, along with the NFC North title. Perhaps they’ll avoid that first-round upset – it was, after all, an upset – and go all the way to the Super Bowl. They could even win the thing, earning their second Lombardi Trophy in three years and add some more credence to that whole dynasty talk.
At which point, we’ll all have something to look forward to – another preseason.
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