Dear Nikol,
I started dating this girl. In all the other relationships I’ve been in, finishing a blow job in the mouth seems pretty standard. But this girl was very specific about telling me not to. What’s the deal?
– Swallowing My Pride
Dear Swallowing My Pride,
How about I just list a whole bunch of possibilities, because in a two minute span of thinking about your question about 50 scenarios popped into my mind. I just had 50 of your penises in my mind, by the way. You have 49 too many penises by my count. And by the end of this column I’ll have said semen almost as many times.
A Matter Of Taste: Some people really hate the taste of semen. True, not all semen tastes the same, but there’s a general semen flavor and, like anything with a flavor, you’re going to run into people who aren’t into it.
A Matter Of Experience: It is possible that your new girlfriend once had a really negative experience with semen in her mouth. Maybe she barfed. Maybe one guy’s semen was especially rancid and it turned her off the stuff. Maybe she was in love with someone who really enjoyed finishing in her mouth, and the taste of semen reminds her of him.
A Matter Of Culture: In most religions there is a taboo about semen that is put anywhere except into a vagina with the intent of making a baby. In some religions it is expressly forbidden to swallow semen. And even if you are having premarital sex – so it seems like she’s not all that religious – some habits die hard. Think of Jewish people who are atheists but still won’t eat a ham sandwich. The things imposed upon us as we grow up can become a part of who we are subconsciously.
A Matter Of Morals: Maybe she just made a mental list over the years of what she thinks is okay and what she doesn’t. Having your ejaculatory fluids in her mouth during blow jobs made the not okay list. But if you look on the bright side, giving blow jobs made the okay list.
A Matter Of Safety: For as long as I can remember Americans have been told that sex is pretty dangerous. One little mishap with the fluids and you’ve got AIDS. And while people tend to either be too ignorant or too educated about STIs, the too educated can take safety to the kind of level that seems excessive. I’m not saying that it’s safe to gargle with semen, by the way. If you two don’t know each other very well just yet, I’d recommend using as much protection as you can.
Long answer short, people have a lot of different reasons for liking or not liking certain things. I’m not sure how many blow jobs you’ve gotten or how many you’ll get in the future, but it’s safe to say that not every girl you receive oral sex from will be okay with your finishing in their mouth.
– Nikol
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Questions? If you have a question for Nikol, you can reach her confidentially at lovesexetc@milwaukeemagazine.com. Your anonymity will be protected.
