Dear Nikol,
Could you please explain cross-dressing? Specifically, males dressing as females. Are people born wanting to do that? Is it a learned behavior? Is it a choice, or not? Thanks.
– Just Curious
Hey Curious,
I am so glad you asked. Male cross dressing is very misunderstood and it’d be nice to get the chance to clear up some ideas about it.
First, you ask me if it is a choice. Cross dressing is an action, a behavior, and any behavior is ultimately a choice. The desire to take part in a behavior, however, is not a choice. In making any choice to act on a desire we determine if the good outweighs the bad. Will our behavior cause problems for us financially, emotionally, socially, or to our families? Will our behavior have a positive effect on us or others? Some choices are easy to make, but cross dressing is still a touchy subject. Hopefully, through education and exposure, people can stop fearing men in pantyhose.
To be clear: cross dressers or transvestites are not necessarily homosexual. In fact, most are not. Also, not all gay men like to wear women’s clothes. Most do not. (However, most teenage emo boys seem pretty comfortable in girls’ pants. Emo is its own category.) So the clothes we choose to wear are not a determination of our sexual preference. True, some people who are transgender dress as the opposite sex, but that is because they are dressing as the sex they identify as.
But if they aren’t gay, why would a man want to dress as a woman? Two words: leg warmers. Seriously, have you seen all of the varieties of those things? And don’t even get me started on purses! Okay. It’s not that simple. I just wanted to point out that women get a pretty decent variety of fashion choices. Men cross dress for different reasons. Some do it for fun and to perform. It may be a part of a comedy act or a musical show. Some men cross dress privately as a hobby. And some men love the way women’s clothing feels on their skin or looks on their body. Some men even cross dress for the sake of their partner’s enjoyment.
I don’t know if it is something men are born wanting to do or if they learn the behavior, but I do know that this desire to dress in clothing of the opposite sex is no longer considered a mental illness. Unless it is an obsession, cross dressing is considered well within the range of normal self expression. Quite honestly, I don’t know why people have an easier time accepting camouflage print as evening wear than a man in a pencil skirt.
So there you have it. Cross dressers are as normal as a Wisconsin winter is long. Hope this helps!
– Nikol
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Questions? If you have a question for Nikol, you can reach her confidentially at lovesexetc@milwaukeemagazine.com.Your anonymity will be protected.
