Okay, normally I post on Sundays…you know to match “Sunday” Boyfriend. But I’ve got some conflicts this Sunday, so I’m posting early. And this post is actually a re-post from my blog, but I thought it was only right to introduce my Sunday Boyfriends to all of my Milwaukee Magazine friends. And I’ve just revamped the look of the Sunday Boyfriend blog. If you have a moment and want to check it out, feel free at sundayboyfriend.blogspot.com.
On a side note, if you ever have a question for me, or any of my Sunday Boyfriends, just let me know and I’ll do my best to answer. In the meantime, enjoy meeting the guys…
MY SUNDAY BOYFRIENDS
Whoa. Whoa. You think I’m going to tell TMI tales? Ah, no. A girl needs an aura of mystery to keep others on their toes. I am, however, going to share a little bit about each of my Sunday Boyfriends in an effort to 1) enlighten and inspire others to share kindness in their relationships; 2) shed light on what some Sunday Boyfriend relationships look like; 3) put myself out there to break down the walls a little bit so you know I’m a true Sunday Boyfriend aficionado and 4) to identify my Sunday Boyfriends without naming them so you will know a little bit about who I am talking about in any future posts.
Now, if you’ve been reading my blog you know there are many things a Sunday Boyfriend can bring to the table (whatever kind of table service needs you have is up to you): friendship, honesty, “snicky-snacks”, companionship, fun, flirting, flexibility, etc. In my case, all my Sunday Boyfriends are platonic friends. That’s my choice based on my situation and needs. And for me, it’s perfect! They’re fun; they’re flirty; they make me look at things differently. I LOVE all my Sunday Boyfriends because each, in their own way, teaches me more about myself. And I cherish those who push me to think about the world in new perspectives.
That said, I feel I should mention two things: 1) I’m a huge flirt. I’m very upfront about this and accept the good and bad that go with it. For me it’s part of my personality and just happens. I used to try and tame it, but that left me feeling stifled, subdued and not me. So when I finally got to the point of not caring what others thought about me, I unleashed the flirty lion and never looked back. 2) I truly value the “always-there-for-you” core philosophy of Sunday Boyfriend. In all my Sunday Boyfriend relationships, we flirt; and that is part of the fun. I mean why bother if it isn’t on some level, fun. But more importantly, we practice two-way street respect. I mean, I can’t, in good faith, expect someone to “always be there for me” if I’m not willing to do the same. I’m very true to this mantra. I’m not talking a 24/7, physically-in-your-presence status. Folks who follow that kind of mentality, to me, are insecure, selfish and borderline creepy. People need their space no matter the relationship. And most of the time folks can’t drop everything at a moment’s notice just for little ol’ you. Rather, I’m talking about when the moment calls for it, being there in some fashion. It’s comfort…hence the comfortable part of Sunday Boyfriend. So in the end, it’s basically knowing someone is out there rooting for you no matter the situation. And frankly, who couldn’t use a little more of that?
So here are some insights about my Sunday Boyfriends:
My Email SB: we’ve been friends for years. He’s smart. He’s kind. He’s trustworthy. We’ve recently come back into each other’s lives after honestly talking from a falling out years ago. Despite the gap of not speaking, he is my oldest SB; that is to say, he was/is my first SB. We picked up where we left off and fell back into the same, thought provoking discussions (this time via email) that run the topic gamut…politics, economy, family life. While we don’t always agree, I appreciate his point of view. We give each other space with our opinions and respect each other enough to truly listen. Our friendship works because of this respect and the wisdom gained during the time our friendship was in the dark.
My Facebook SB: we went to college together. Although we never dated, there is chemistry. He’s fun. He lives in the moment. He’s living the dream. We both have serious relationships and respect our positions. We don’t have a lot of interaction because of our busy lives, but whenever I’m having a bad day, he sends me one word…the name of a flower to bring sunshine to my day. It’s one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me. One word…that’s all it takes.
My East Coast SB: we met through a past employer and became friends. He’s honest. He’s confident. He’s an adventurous gamer. We have the honest, frank discussions that others shy away from; but in our case, we remain friends at the end of the day because we respect our differences and always do our best to listen. He doesn’t sugar-coat anything. He tells it like he sees it. And I really need more of that in my life to keep me grounded. I never have to guess what he really means. I both appreciate and admire his way of thinking.
My West Coast SB: we also met through a past employer and became friends. He talks tough but is a gentle soul. His personality is larger than life. He always has your back. I can always count on him to be open about what’s going on in his life. And I like being there to offer the advice he seeks. And, in turn, I can always count on him to give me an honest point of view. Plus he’s always the life of the party, so I know I’ll have a wicked good time when we are able to catch up and go out.
My Gay SB: he is, without a doubt, one of my best friends on the planet. We went to college together and found we grew up in similar ways, share a similar outlook on life and just plain have fun when we are together. He’s creative. He’s talented. He’s an angel. He is a phenomenal listener. I can call him with anything…yep, anything…and know his advice always come from love and support. I questioned putting the sexual orientation distinction with him as my Sunday Boyfriend; because who we are attracted to doesn’t make a difference within our Sunday Boyfriend relationship. He’s always there for me & I’m always there for him. Love is abounding. I decided to include it to share with people that loving relationships happen on all levels and I am proud he allows me to call him my Sunday Boyfriend. Enough said.
My Texting SB: we also went to college together. And although we also never dated, he is one of the greatest loves of my life. He’s caring. He’s multi-faceted. He’s magic. There for me during incredible heartache, I credit him with more than he knows. Over the years we’ve drifted, like many relationships do, but started to reconnect after the tragic loss of a fellow classmate. Although we are in different places with busy lives, we respect what we are able to give to our friendship; finding humor by saying “bad timing” is our theme. We managed to keep our friendship going through random, fun text messages. Each message is like an unexpected, yet welcomed hug across the miles. And who doesn’t like hugs?
My High School SB: as the name implies, we went to high school together. We never dated. I had a crush on him back in the day, but was too timid to say anything. He continues to exude “the bad boy” image. (Come on, you know there’s part of you that likes the bad boy, too.) He’s charismatic. He’s faithful. After high school, we fell out of touch, but whenever his name came up in conversation with former HS pals, I always wished him well. So at reunion time, with the courage from a life’s experiences within me, I shared my secret HS crush. He was flattered and shared the sentiment. (There’s a tale here for putting yourself out there with your feelings because you never know what it can lead to, but that’s another blog entry for another time.) With where we are in our lives now, we’ve discovered a new friendship at a new age and I’m grateful for it. He came up with a nickname for me in high school that he still uses today. Every time he said it back then it made me feel special…still does.
My College SB: the one who inspired it all. We dated in college and broke up over youthful disagreements. He’s methodical. He’s goofy. He’s a button-pusher. We fell out of touch after breaking up, but after a random meeting over 10 years ago, we became friends again. And yes, there is still love there. But it’s different. Dare I say it now has the maturity we lacked the first time around? Sure. I think that’s a safe bet. Today, we respect each other’s serious relationships and firmly acknowledge we only want the best for each other. Alright, that said, the greatest thing about our relationship, for me, is our love of debate. Whenever we meet, I always do extra research on current events in order to bring my “A Game.” I am forever grateful for this relationship because not only does it push me to defend and define my philosophies and values, but it has also taught me how to forgive, communicate and experience friendship on a deeper level. All of which helps me grow.
So, these are my Sunday Boyfriends in a nutshell. I cherish them all. Do any of them sound familiar within your own relationships? Well then maybe you DO have a Sunday Boyfriend…or two…or dozen. Don’t be afraid to call friends, Sunday Boyfriends. Semantics won’t change how you interact. It is our hope Sunday Boyfriend will become a recognized, welcomed and celebrated moniker in society.
OK SBers…go out and be comfy in all your relationships and within yourselves.
