I’ve reached the age when it is sometimes hard to fathom just how many hurdles I’ve cleared, stumbled on, or just plain crashed into. I’ve got the bruises to prove each and every tough life lesson. You do too? Nice to meet you fellow survivor.
When reflecting on these life lessons, the thing I get hung up on the most is not the lessons themselves, but rather getting to an awareness and acceptance of forgiving my youthful naiveté. To me, this has been more difficult than facing the hurdles when they occurred. I try to remind myself that hindsight is 20/20; and doing stupid things and/or putting up with improper behavior or relationships is a part of learning and growing to get us to the next level. I also try to remember each lesson brought me to where I am today. But honestly, sometimes I wish I could go back to the young me and just kick myself in the ass. Do you ever have thoughts similar to this?
I get it. Heck, I lived it; and understand when you’re young, just starting on your own, you’re just trying to get through life the best you can. You’re in a perpetual survival mode. You deal with each hurdle as they come flying at you, not really stopping to think,”Hey, what the hell am I doing on this track with so many hurdles to jump all the time?” Someone throws something at you and tells you to jump, so you jump.
But when you get to the age I’m at right now, you’re a seasoned hurdler. And after all that jumping you’re a tad spent. You begin to question why you’ve been jumping so much when clearly there were other options…like walking around the hurdles, or getting on an entirely different track, or better yet jumping into a pool.
For the past six years, I’ve been learning how to swim in the pool I decided to jump into. And so far I can tell you the water’s just fine. It sure beats that other track I was on. And that’s what I hope you’ll be open to…realizing it is okay to say the track you’re on isn’t working and having the courage to try jumping in a pool.
Don’t get me wrong, there are still issues in the pool. But here they are waves instead of hurdles. Getting to this state of thinking has made all the difference in living a fuller life. No more sitting back while others set the tone over the problems or problem-solving in my world. No-siree-bob. I have discovered when you start taking ownership for you, better things happen. Because after all, who knows you, better than you! Here in my new pool surroundings, the changes I’ve been able to make are are subtle, but powerful to the psyche. For example, now when I encounter rude people I say something rather than nothing. Now when food doesn’t taste right in a restaurant I send it back rather than simply not eating it (and yes then paying for the pleasure of not eating). Or when my significant other or any of my Sunday Boyfriends upset me, I talk about it rather than bottle it up. Yep, I like the pool better. Wish I would have jumped in sooner. But I got here when I did, and trying to focus on what it will take to get to the next level…relaxing on that floaty. Because seriously, everyone floating by on those things look pretty damn calm and happy.
Depending where you are on your life’s journey, this may sound ridiculously simple or incredibly difficult. Realizing life is more than running on a track and jumping hurdles isn’t easy to see when you’re submerged in a pressure cooker world. But take a lesson from me, take time to look up and around. I promise you won’t suddenly burst into flames if you do. You’ll find there are people around you who are perfectly happy, and getting things accomplished by means other than jumping. To get started, try some small change, like ordering something on the menu that never appealed to you before; or pay a compliment to a total stranger. Engaging in a small gesture to get you out of your comfort zone is the first step towards realizing life’s opportunities.
Since beginning this blog, I’ve been struck, even more so lately, with just how many people fear ideas outside their comfort zones. And all this fear is coming out in angry, controlling ways. Like being stuck on that track with hurdles, some would rather stay on it than learn something new and grow. Sometimes holding on to old ideas just for the sake of following what has always been isn’t always the best. And what happens when you hold on to something too tightly? It tends to fracture. And aren’t there too many things that are broken already? So look up. Look around. Again, I promise you won’t suddenly burst into flames if you do. Trust that you are fully equipped to tell the difference between what is good for you and what is bad for you and tell yourself it might be better to stop jumping over hurdles and jump in the pool instead. Who knows, you may end up on a floaty before I do.
As always, stay comfy and be good to yourself and your Sunday Boyfriends.
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