Carnival rides aren’t for everyone. They’re fast, they’re violent, they induce sickness, they’re avoided by some fair-goers in the northern hemisphere like an anaconda in heat. Something about them seems … inadvisable. A little too fast for their own good. Maybe even accident prone.
And yet, for all the drawbacks, some people can’t get enough of the rush, the candy-colored light bulbs, the triumph over trepidation. For you, you carnie ride lovers of Southeastern Wisconsin, may we suggest 13 of the 2013 State Fair’s best trips.
Scream Factor: High. Not the biggest or fastest ride on this list, but it’s wildly unpredictable.
Originality: Moderate. A fair staple that delivers a lot of scares for such a small apparatus.
G-Forces Experienced: High. If you hit one of the rotations at the right point, hold onto yer teeth.
Dizziness Quotient: Moderate. Don’t expect to stagger out of the exit, but don’t expect to run, either.
Overall Fun: High. Comes out of nowhere and slaps you across the face like a good carnie ride should.
Scream Factor: Low. If you scream on one of these, don’t even look at the rest of this list.
Originality: Low. A classic you’ve probably ridden a dozen times.
G-Forces Experienced: Low. This is kid’s stuff but not technically part of the kiddie rides.
Dizziness Quotient: Low–Moderate. Riders control the amount of twirling they do (but not the tilting).
Overall Fun: Moderate. A good ride for dates. It’s something to warm up with before the Ferris wheel.
Scream Factor: Moderate. It’s really dark and everything is just happening so fast.
Originality: High. A bumping soundtrack makes this G-force ride a feast for the senses.
G-Forces Experienced: High. One of those trap-you-against-the-wall rides. So, yeah.
Dizziness Quotient: Moderate. It’s like you’re a drunken hamster on a wheel totally out of control.
Overall Fun: Moderate. Area 51 brings a lot to the table but will turn off claustrophobes.
Scream Factor: Moderate. This thing really moves but throws no curve-balls at its riders.
Originality: Low. Could be confused for any number of other rides.
G-Forces Experienced: High. It’s not 10, but still pretty high.
Dizziness Quotient: Moderate. Changes in direction are gradual and never unexpected.
Overall Fun: Moderate. A solid choice but won’t be the ride you rave to your friends about.
Scream Factor: Low. Halfway between a real roller coaster and the tunnel of love.
Originality: Moderate. Having two cars running at the same time is sort of cool.
G-Forces Experienced: Low. Don’t expect to fear for your life.
Dizziness Quotient: Low. Changes in direction are gradual and never unexpected.
Overall Fun: High. Closest thing to a roller coaster in Milwaukee. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Scream Factor: Moderate. Eventually swings all the way around in a so-slow way that freaks you out.
Originality: Moderate. Has a cool name and stylized lightning bolts.
G-Forces Experienced: High. This one’ll put your intestines in your eyeballs. Or something like that.
Dizziness Quotient: Low. Doesn’t really spin you around, just in a big circle.
Overall Fun: High. Not the craziest ride but a well-loved classic that continues to terrify its riders.
Scream Factor: Low. Unless you’re deathly afraid of heights.
Originality: Low. Has been around almost as long as metal.
G-Forces Experienced: Low. You only feel a mild tingling on the way down.
Dizziness Quotient: Low. None unless, again, you’re suffering from a phobia or medical condition.
Overall Fun: High. Good for breaking up with, making up with and making out with your date, all in the same leisurely ride.
Scream Factor: High. Screaming has a way of spilling over into terrified, hysterical laughter on this one.
Originality: High. Turns, twirls and hurls you in ways you aren’t quite expecting.
G-Forces Experienced: High. This is a serious ride for serious riders.
Dizziness Quotient: Moderate. The power of the spinning that goes on is not to be underestimated.
Overall Fun: High. A killer ride. This is the one you’ll rave about later.
Scream Factor: Moderate. Goes up rather high before swinging downward again.
Originality: Low. It’s a rehash of an old, old design.
G-Forces Experienced: High. Another ride to put your gut in your nose. Er, heart in your throat.
Dizziness Quotient: Low. No rotating, only upsies and downsies on the Genesis.
Overall Fun: Low. Draws a crowd but only because of the lights and movie-set graphics.
Scream Factor: High. You’ll yell like a knife-wielding leprechaun just jumped in the bathtub with you.
Originality: Moderate. Kind of unusual to see one of these at a fair.
G-Forces Experienced: High. Puts your shoes on top of your head and then back on your feet.
Dizziness Quotient: Low. Isaac Newton’s favorite ride. What goes up goes down. No spins.
Overall Fun: Moderate. The rides are short, so it’s easy to get on.
Scream Factor: Moderate. You get swung out into the air pretty far.
Originality: Moderate. Only remarkable for its size and surprisingly high elevation.
G-Forces Experienced: Low. Only slightly more than you get on a playground swing.
Dizziness Quotient: Moderate. Turns a bunch of people into what is essentially a human propeller.
Overall Fun: Moderate. Good clean fun.
Scream Factor: Moderate. Boat rides like this can be ultra-scary, but this one is relatively tame.
Originality: Moderate. A common design but gets extra points for the massive pharaoh head.
G-Forces Experienced: High. When this puppy swings toward the ground, you feel it.
Dizziness Quotient: Low. Not much risk here.
Overall Fun: High. Riding a giant pharaoh-headed Viking ship is just great.
Scream Factor: Low. Passing close to that giant alligator head is the oogiest part.
Originality: Moderate. Cute, simple, rewarding.
G-Forces Experienced: Low. A calmer ride than the tunnel of love.
Dizziness Quotient: Low. Only a danger if you do too much rubbernecking at the hordes below.
Overall Fun: High. A great way to ride off into the sunset.
