East Coast SB: The big city gamer with a John Muir soul. Last week he set out for one of his big sky adventures to capture the beauty of the wilderness one photographic moment at a time. He’s been to almost all of the national forests, but he won’t feel settled until all are crossed off his list…at least a dozen times. This time, he is trekking new territory and camping with bears. Yep. Bears. By himself. The boy is going to make me go through Xanax faster than Lindsey Lohan’s attorney.
Normally when he sets off for these beautiful adventures, he posts photographs of what he sees on his Facebook page to let friends know he is a) having a great time, and b) alive. But this time there are no new photos. And this freaked me out. So much so, that in order to curb my overactive imagination of a gruesome grizzly attack, I texted him. Now, I know he is a smart and capable man who is able to take care of himself. I’m not trying to be his mommy. But when someone you care about is alone in the great unknown, with bears (for heaven’s sake), I think it’s natural to be cautiously concerned.
When he didn’t get back to my text after a day, I texted again; saying, “You do realize you are freaking me out, right?” Whereupon I finally received the, “I’m here and okay,” text back.
Whew.
He’s still out there, so I’m not out of the Xanax woods yet. Luckily I have work to take my mind off of the grizzlies.
My West Coast SB: The fun-loving, Beastie Boys fan. Every time I hear the Beastie Boys, I think of My West Coast SB and wish he was sitting next to me singing along. Seriously. Every time. This week when driving to and from errands, Intergalactic came on satellite radio. Now I love this song on its own, but with this particular Beastie Boys song, I picture my West Coast SB really enjoying it. And while we have tried our best to keep in touch, My West Coast SB and I haven’t seen each other in a long time. We came close, but narrowly missed each other’s recent trips to Vegas by days and this poor timing was now on my brain. When I heard the lyrics, “Too sweet to be sour, too nice to be mean, on the tough guy style I’m not too keen,” I felt the universe was saying, “You need to contact him.” So I did.
Turns out, he is taking a break from a stressful work situation and recharging by doing things he really enjoys. I applaud him for being true to himself and checking in with the things he needs to not only be in a happier workplace, but also a happier life-place. I remember being in such a push-pull place during my life. And it isn’t always easy to see you’re in chaos when the chaos has slowly encroached in your life. It can start out small, like bringing your all to a new job; and grow to 16 hour days filled with 100s of calls and emails, 20 deadlines and stroking multiple fragile egos. The more of these kinds of days can morph your thinking and identity and leave you missing out on life outside of work. Yeah. Been there. I don’t miss it…well, I don’t miss all of it.
The moment I contacted him, he was playing in a poker tournament and an Affleck just sat down at his table. How’s that for timing? Thanks, Universe. You always know how to bring a great story into my world when I need it. Although he took all of Affleck’s money, My West Coast SB was just shy of placing in the tournament. But it was great to learn he is having memorable moments during this time because that’s what he needs right now. Man I miss him.
My Gay SB: The beautiful, artistic soul. I try my best to keep up with my Gay Sunday Boyfriend, but he has so much energy and talent, that he tends to be in high demand. But it’s all good. That’s the way it should be and I couldn’t imagine him living any differently; nor would I want him to.
He shared some amazing work news with me this week and I couldn’t be more proud. But here’s the thing, when he shared his recent news, just as he does when sharing all his news, he makes a point to find out how I am. It’s never always about him. He amazes me with this generosity. So many times it is easy to share what we have going on with others, but it’s not always as easy to share the moment and give a listening ear. This is never the case with My Gay SB. It is a testament to his character and giving heart. By doing this small act, he makes me feel loved and I want to hug him.
His new opportunity is amazing and I am happy to be along, in a small encouraging way, for the ride.
My College SB: The button pusher. In a recent post, I shared my SB funk regarding a then upcoming meeting with my College Sunday Boyfriend. Since that post, we have been working on problem solving to get to a better place. I am confident we will figure it out. He is one of my best friends and I can’t imagine us not getting to a solution.
That said, with the recent political environment, we had an interesting conversation diversion. Know that this is what we do…have a dialog that begins on opposite sides and then dig deeper for a better overall understanding. And it’s fun. I swear. It is. Just because we disagree doesn’t mean it can’t be fun. Besides, I rather enjoy it. It forces me to be more aware of issues and the world in general. And any relationship that helps me do this is one I want to keep.
This week, because of our conversation, I read up more on political speeches than I have done in quite some time. As a result, I am better versed on political rhetoric than I care to admit, but happy to know.
My Email SB: The voice from long ago. This week my Email Sunday Boyfriend and I had just a quick note here and there, but he has been on my mind since receiving his longer note a week or two ago. Our conversations tend to be weeks apart, so they cover quite a bit. His last note described family schedules shifting from summer to a new school year. He lives a fast-paced, fulfilled life. Although his note this week was a quick checking in on how I was feeling, knowing all he juggles, I can’t tell you how much happiness I felt from one sentence. But, there it was.
My Foodie SB: The busy one. Yep. Busy. He refers to his work as an “unforgiving mistress,”and for the past two weeks, it appears she has a chokehold on him. I find it interesting that he personifies his work by calling it a “mistress.” I worry about how much weight she carries, or rather, how much weight he allows her to be. Don’t get me wrong, he’s brilliant no matter what…it’s why he’s good at his job and why his “mistress” keeps coming back for more. But knowing he has so many facets, it just seems a shame they aren’t all being cultivated to shine at the same time. I miss that sunshine.
After sending texts with scrumptious words and photos, I thought surely I would hear back. But time, after, careful-to-not-be-annoying, time–nothing. I mean, anytime a girl brings her A-game and sends a note saying, “I better stop strutting around like Travolta to the Bee Gees,” without a reply, it means one of two things: The boy is either up to his ears in work, or you’re not as clever as you think you are and the boy thinks you’re a pest. I realize it’s a fine line.
So moving forward, as is our theme, I’ll assume he is busy. And despite that fine, pesky line that continues to push me out of my comfort zone and tangle my stomach in knots, I’ll keep sending the tasty notes. If nothing else, to remind him, just as my West Coast SB is discovering and my East Coast SB is doing, life outside of work continues to flow and is waiting to be explored.
I know he’s working on finding a balance. Lord knows I know it isn’t easy. Heck, I was submerged in such a high pressure work world for years. When I finally let it go and did something fun for me, I cried. It’s still surprising to me because it came out of nowhere and I couldn’t stop it. I try not to think about what the other students in that cooking class thought as I blubbered all over the place. But for me, it was a wave of clarity. Sure, it was just a cooking class, but for me it was liberation from defining myself by my work. At that moment I was no longer a baseball executive; I was Katie learning how to cook a Thai dish that I always wanted to try.
I’m not saying my Foodie SB is in a place of defining himself through work—at least I hope he’s not. I’m sure I’m projecting, but I don’t want him to be in a place, years from now, becoming overwhelmed by all the things he missed out on when he was in the throes of his work mistress. So unless he tells me otherwise, I’ll keep sending yummy notes from my world as a way to keep connected and will try to shrug off the pest ideas.
And there you have it: A week of Sunday Boyfriend connections that resulted in good news, good growth, and an appreciation for Xanax.
May all your Sunday Boyfriend adventures lead you to new discoveries.
As always stay comfy (even if your SB is camping alone with bears), be good to yourself and all your Sunday Boyfriends.
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