So it’s late Saturday night and I’m sitting in the dark by the light of my computer, wishing my writer’s block would hitchhike on someone else’s unfortunate brain and leave me to write…something…anything for proper consumption. Man I wish I had my rock right now.
Maybe if I take a moment to breathe something will come to me…inhale…and…now exhale. Anything? Damn it!
I’ve had this writer’s block all week. I was hoping to have a fun post about a recent lunch with my High School SB, but schedules got crazy this week and we had to settle for a rain check. Meeting up with any of my Sunday Boyfriends is difficult as they are scattered all over the country and a casual meeting isn’t as readily available as I would like. So when this lunch was postponed, I was bummed not only for the lost chance to catch up, but also for the possibility of a fun story to share. A miss…next time.
This week’s other SB miss is playing phone tag with my West Coast SB. Since we live in extremely different time zones, not only is an in-person rendezvous a long shot, but a phone conversation takes a great deal of forethought and preparation. The times when I can call, he’s either asleep or still at work, so timing is not on our side. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that a call will happen yet this weekend. Because honestly, he’s been on my mind a great deal since he told me his mother was diagnosed with stage IV cancer. Can I just say, cancer sucks? Okay…cancer sucks!
My West Coast SB is single, but he is a devoted family guy. I adore hearing stories about his brothers, his nieces and nephews, and his mom. He’s very close to his mom. And I think any guy who talks about his mom with such care and love is a keeper. To me, it’s a sure sign he’s capable of letting down his guard…and that is a turn on. Now please know I’m not just talking about an attraction when I say “turn on.” I mean it’s a sign for me to get to know this person better; to be this person’s friend. So after knowing how important family, his mother, is to him, hearing this upsetting news made my heart feel heavy for him. So I’m really hoping we can chat so I can get an update about what’s going on in his world. And I know I can’t do much, being thousands of miles away, but I can listen.
I had two Sunday Boyfriend hits this week. One was with my Facebook SB. As I mentioned in an earlier post we don’t have a lot of interaction, but I still consider him a Sunday Boyfriend because of this one thing we do to connect. Flower words. Yep. Flower words. Every once and a while, if I’m having a bad day or something reminded me of him, I’ll post the name of a flower on his wall. And in return, he will post another flower on my wall. It’s just nice. This week, he posted a flower to my wall first…and it came at a perfect time. Because even though I’ve been telling myself, over and over, and you, that I wouldn’t overthink the falling out with one my SBs…I am. I’m missing my friend and it’s zapping quite a bit of energy from me. So this flower was even sweeter.
The other hit this week was my significant other. I realized long ago that it would take a very secure man to be with a woman who has this many Sunday Boyfriends. And trust me, he is. And I know I’m lucky. Having the great fortune to talk to many women who would like to have a Sunday Boyfriend but feel as though they can’t because the significant other in their lives would brood over it, I am reminded of two things:
One…fears and insecurities can have such a strong grip on people that they aren’t even aware of how much life they are holding back from themselves and perhaps others around them. Letting go of that fear is when you discover true trust, true love, and true happiness.
And two…how important it is to not only be true to yourself, but how important it is to let others be true to how they are.
Now I don’t want to paint this picture that my significant other and I are perfect. Because first off, we’re not; and secondly, perfection is overrated and boring. I’m a fiery Irish redhead (yep, I’m a Ginger) who, after a lifetime of feeling like Janis Joplin stuck in a Holly Hobby world, finally broke free from the mentality I had to be someone other than who I was. So to make up for that lost time, I tend to speak up with more vigor. The fallout from that personal change, I’ve found, is that people don’t really know what to do with it or me. But, my significant other isn’t afraid to jump in and talk to me, or rather, debate with me to point out when I’m wrong (because sometimes I’m wrong…shocking, I know). And that’s security. And that’s not only a good balance for me, but is another turn on. But here’s the thing…in order for this to work, we both have to respect who, at our core, we are to ourselves and each other. And we do.
So the SB hit with my significant other this week was when talking about feeling like I’ve lost a great friend with the fallout from one of my SBs. So he asked me, “Katie, if he called you tomorrow for help, would you?” After I said yes, my significant other said, “Well then, you’re his friend.” Yep, security is a turn on.
And even though weeks like this happen, weeks where life is filled with one project after the other, or stress seems to be abundant, it’s good to remember to keep trying to make connections. I know, I know…you mean to call; you had every intension of sending a note; but things got busy. But I learned a long time ago, the hard way, it’s just as easy to lose a connection as it is to keep it. And while there are times you may think you’re not “all that and a bag of chips,” and making contact won’t matter…I guarantee someone out there would love to hear from you. So let go of the fear, let your inner Janis free, and keep trying.
Here’s hoping we all find ways to keep connecting and learning…one word flower at a time.
As always, be good to yourself, your Sunday Boyfriends, and stay comfy.
If you are looking for more SB information, check us out at our blog:
http://sundayboyfriend.blogspot.com/
our Facebook page for fun polls and contests (be sure to “like” us if you’re so inclined):
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sunday-Boyfriend/20305680958
or Twitter:
http://twitter.com/#!/SundayBoyfriend
