6 Milwaukee Food Challenges Almost No One Can Win

Only food lovers with a competitive nature need apply.

A spot on a wall of fame is impetus enough for food glory-mongers to let their waistbands fly free and gorge on a massive quantity of food. The brave few called to such travail refer to it as a Food Challenge. Make no mistake: Our city does not lack for opportunities to stuff ourselves silly, for the prestige that comes with it. Here are a few to chew on.

Ward’s House of Prime’s Prime Rib Challenge
➸ Numbers scarcely do justice to the growing sizes of rib roasts annihilated at Ward’s House of Prime. 176 ounces was, at press time, the largest roast consumed. Go a size up from that (the roasts bump up 8 ounces), and you’ll get a prime rib named after you and a dominant spot on the Wall of Fame. Too daunting? Crush 40 ounces or higher and you’ll still get your name on the wall, under the first big mouth to nail it. (540 E. Mason St.; 515 Wells St., Delafield)

Red Rock Saloon’s The Unforgiven Challenge
➸ You only get 23 minutes to take down a dizzying tower of two half-pound burgers with bacon and cheese, a deep-fried chicken breast, tomato, onion strings, a fried egg, plus a basket of fries and six T.C.B. (Takin Care of Business) hot wings. Dig in. The Wall of Fame is calling, as is a Red Rock Saloon shirt and hat. (1227 N. Water St.)

The Picnic Basket’s Super Bomber Challenge
➸ Not for the faint of tummy, this task gives the pursuant 60 minutes to consume a 24-inch sub (packed with three meats and two cheeses), a basket of chips, a pound of pasta and a Sprecher soda – all at a cost of $29. If successful, the award is a T-shirt and one 8-inch sub sandwich every month for a year. The Picnic Basket (W329 N4492 Lakeland Dr., Nashotah)

Aviator Sports Bar and Grille’s Fugetaboutit Challenge
➸ 25 dollars or 25 minutes? The choice is yours. Aviator Sports Bar and Grille will serve you a bun overflowing with fries, corned beef, beef brisket, pulled pork, Bavarian ham, eight slices of cheddar and bacon and onion strings, all topped with barbecue sauce for only 25 dollars. Or you could take this nearly five-pound meal and try to down it in 25 minutes. Succeed and it’s free. (5105 S Howell Ave.)

Johnny V’s Classic Café’s The King Challenge
➸ A breakfast food challenge is rare, but much beloved. One of great magnitude is found at Johnny V’s Classic Café. You have one hour to annihilate 10 eggs, 8 pancakes, hash browns, 3 pieces of bacon and sausage, a slice of ham and 2 slices of Texas Toast, and you’ll secure a free meal, a t-shirt and a picture on the wall to forever commemorate your glory. (1650 S 84th St.)

Milwaukee Burger Company’s The Big Milwaukee Challenge
➸ A company exclusively dedicated to burgers brings you a two-pound beef patty with eight slices of cheese in between some carb-filled buns. Since that clearly isn’t enough, they drop on some sauces and curds to make this burger truly “Big.” If you can finish it before the 30-minute mark, you get a Milwaukee Burger Company t-shirt and a picture posted on their social media. (6421 S 27th St., Franklin; and four other locations)

‘The Big Eat’ appears in the February 2016 issue of Milwaukee Magazine.

Find the February issue on newsstands beginning Feb. 1.

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