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The Fashionista's tips and tricks to avoid tragedy.

 

lyneekid

The Fashionista’s blunder-ful kindergarten photo.

I was once at a wedding, and the ex-girlfriend of the groom decided to show up to the reception wearing a stark white gown with a matching white headpiece. She also brought her newborn baby, who was donning an all-white outfit. Now, anyone with half a brain would know this is not OK, that this is a fashion faux pas of the highest order. The bride, however, didn’t seem to notice and the night went on without a hitch. The kicker: The bride was actually me, and I didn’t know how to react to the ex-girlfriend of my new husband wearing the white gown. So I didn’t react at all. The moral of the story in this case is that unless you are asked by the bride to wear white to her wedding, it is not OK to wear white. No matter who you are.

Now, of course, I laugh at this memory, as that marriage eventually fell apart and I soon found myself in a blind rage, shoving my wedding dress into a full garbage dumpster as it billowed out like cream in a creampuff. This was all while my neighbors in the apartment complex stood on their porches and watched in horror. It was the perfect ending to the perfect disaster.

In keeping with the theme of bad decisions, here are a few easy fixes to add to your fashion and beauty routine that will help you avoid these common style-related blunders. (I’m saving relationship tips for another day.)

Keep the Original Hem

A few days ago I was walking through the airport behind a cute girl and I couldn’t help but notice her boot-cut jeans had been shortened, and in the process the seamstress completely removed the original bottom hem, leaving the jeans looking like they had just been folded under. I swear, it was like the jeans were asking me a question, “Is this right?” and it’s all I could focus on. So keep the hem. A good seamstress will know what you mean. I also know Nordstrom Rack abides by this rule, which is achieved by folding the excess material right above the stitching, rather than folding under.

Mind the Gap

I hear this on the subway in New York. It’s a recording warning us to mind the gap while exiting the train onto the platform. Every once in awhile I have a horrible vision of my phone slipping through the crack to the goo and gore below. This tip should actually be called “Mind the Crack,” as in your butt crack. No one likes to see it, and low-rise pants and jeans are definitely to blame. Do yourself a simple favor and do a squat, then check out your behind during the crouch. If there is something your phone could fall into, we have a problem. Here are some nice fixes: Wear a long tank, you can buy them at H&M for $6 and you can pull them down to your mid-thigh. I like to wear them bunched a little around my hips  as it gives a nice slimming effect. I also like to get a package of the Hanes men’s white tank tops at Target in small or  extra small. You can get a lot of them for little money, and they are thin and long. Or you can wear a black, high-waist boxer-brief, and the sun wont shine where it doesn’t belong.

Make the Foundation Line Disappear 

There’s nothing more distracting than someone’s face being a completely different color than her body. The best makeup artists will tell you to start your foundation at the neck as this keeps your makeup looking seamless. If you’re like me, and never tan your face (which means there is a huge skin color difference), find a foundation color in between your neck and face. It will be a little darker, so be sure not to apply it with a heavy hand. Smoothing the foundation out with a sponge, like the pink beauty blender, helps, too. Use your concealer, which should be two shades lighter than your foundation, to blend in a lighter color under the eye and areas you want to highlight (I do bridge of the nose, a little on the forehead and chin). Use bronzer around the perimeter of your face and cheekbones.

Aid Chapped, Peeling Lips

I love a matte lipstick, but there’s always the problem of your lips looking really dry. Here’s how to avoid it. Get the Fresh Sugar Lip Polish and give your lips a good scrub after your brush your teeth and before you do your hair and makeup. Follow up with a good chap stick, and apply your matte lipstick happily before you walk out the door.

Fix Frizz

Not that we are really worrying about it in this season, but during the humid months frizz happens. If it strikes unexpectedly there are two easy things you can do. First, if you are completely unprepared, you can use a little bit of hand cream rubbed evenly through your palms and then glide your hands over the problem frizz. This will help smooth it down. An even better solution is keeping a tiny can of Elnett hair spray in your purse. Spray your palms with the hairspray and smooth over your hair. This works really well and gives you a little shine without being sticky.

Now go out and conquer the world.

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