Arch4r’s Agenda. Screenplay. Draft 49.
INT. MILWAUKEE MAGAZINE OFFICE BATHROOM – DAY
We’re inside a bland, fluorescently lit bathroom. A rapidly aging 20-something hunches over the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. He’s short, pale and unshaven. This is a movie so you can’t smell him, but you can kinda tell just by looking at him that he does not smell good. This is our protagonist, ARCHER, Milwaukee Magazine’s managing editor. He runs cold water over his hands and then splashes it across his face.
ARCHER
I’m getting too old for this.
The bathroom door opens, and Archer tries to look less short, pale and unshaven before whoever walks in can see him. Another 20-something man walks in and approaches the sink. This is a much more put together figure, EVAN, Milwaukee Magazine’s arts & culture editor. He clearly notices Archer’s malaise.
EVAN
What’s wrong with you?
ARCHER
Nothing.
EVAN
Archer, everyone can tell something’s wrong. People in the office have been complaining about the smell. I mean, we’re used to the normal smell. But this is, like, somehow worse. What’s going on with you?
ARCHER
It’s my fourth year writing Archer’s Agenda about the Milwaukee Film Festival. I’m getting old, E-Dawg. I feel it in my bones. I don’t know if I have any more good ideas. I don’t know if I ever had any good ideas. I don’t think I have another year of writing high-quality local journalism – available in both digital and print – in me.
EVAN
Come on, man. You have to write Archer’s Agenda. Not just because I’m the arts editor, and if you miss a deadline, I will hurt you. But because it’s tradition. Every year, we publish your picks – along with my significantly more thoughtful and well-written film reviews that readers have always found much more insightful.
ARCHER
You’re seriously going to plug your own reviews in the middle of my first agenda? With a link and everything?
EVAN
You’re the one who made me a stupid character in this nonsense. Also, never call me E-Dawg again.
ARCHER
But don’t you see the problem? We’re 353 words into the first week of Archer’s Agenda 2026, and it’s already incredibly stupid. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I have it in me to entertain readers with the movies I’m most excited about each week. I need your help. Please.
Evan takes a deep breath.
EVAN
Have you had your Red Bull?
ARCHER
Oh. Not yet. Of course! I’ve only had three cups of coffee. What was I thinking?
EVAN
You’re an old man. You need caffeine.
ARCHER
Yes! To the caffeine thing, not the old man stuff. I’m still essentially a teenager.
EVAN
You’re 30, bud.
ARCHER
Not for another few months. Out of my way, E-Dawg, I have Red Bull to drink and an agenda to write!
INT. MILWAUKEE MAGAZINE OFFICES – DAY
Archer sprints out of the restroom with all the coordination of a newborn, arms flailing and legs pumping. He runs across the MilMag offices at full speed, dodging editors left and right and then leaps into his desk chair. He opens his drawer – it’s filled to the brim with about 80 cans of lukewarm Red Bull. He pops the tab on one and chugs it down before opening his laptop. A blank Word document is already waiting on his screen, the cursor blinking invitingly.
His fingers peck at the keys and we see words appear:
…
Well, folks, it’s the fourth edition of Archer’s Agenda (Arch4r’s Agenda: Full Quiver, Fuller Heart). This weekly guide to the movies I’m most excited to see at the Film Festival is back today and for the next two Mondays. Of all the movies I’m pumped about, I’ll be prioritizing the ones that have their final screenings during the week I’m writing about to ensure you don’t miss them.
So let’s get this sucker going. This year’s film festival kicks off on Thursday, April 16 and runs through Thursday, April 30. Here are my picks for week one, in order of the earliest screenings.
It’s time to pick your Milwaukee favorites for the year!
1. Ueck (Opening Night)
THURSDAY, APRIL 16 AT 7 P.M. | ORIENTAL THEATRE
In my four years writing this agenda, this has to be the most perfectly Milwaukee opening night festival movie ever. The only way Milwaukee Film could top this would be a feature film about The Milverine and David Gruber teaming up to rebuild Deep Thought and sail it to a cheese and brats consumption competition. (You listening, Hollywood? I’m spinning gold for free here.)
People are pumped for this documentary, and with good reason. A tribute to the one and only Bob Uecker, this film from local directors Steve Farr and Michael T. Vollmann goes behind the scenes with the beloved Hall of Fame sportscaster and comedian who could make the most boring regular season game during the most unremarkable Brewers season a good time. I’m expecting many laughs with this one, and likely more than a few tears for the late Mr. Baseball.
2. Carolina Caroline
FRIDAY, APRIL 17 AT 12:30 P.M. | ORIENTAL THEATRE
MONDAY, APRIL 20 AT 7:30 P.M. | DOWNER THEATRE
THURSDAY, APRIL 30 AT 7:30 P.M. | DOWNER THEATRE
I’m a champion of Kyle Gallner. I first saw the actor in Smile, and I was impressed by the magnetism he brought to a character that easily could have been a throwaway, just grist for the horror movie murder mill. Gallner’s got charm, man, and I’m always on board for a movie that lets him demonstrate it. This one looks like the perfect vehicle for that. Carolina Caroline sees Gallner again working with director Adam Rehmeier (Dinner in America) and paired with Samara Weaving of Ready or Not fame. The story is a classic American cinematic trope – a young couple of criminals is on the run from the law. I’ve always felt a personal draw to these kinds of stories. When I was 14, I jaywalked repeatedly and without remorse, and I’ve felt the cold shadow of the law on me ever since – any woman who gets involved with me learns to live the outlaw life.
3. Hen
FRIDAY, APRIL 17 AT 9:15 P.M. | DOWNER THEATRE
MONDAY, APRIL 20 AT 10:15 P.M. | ORIENTAL THEATER
SUNDAY, APRIL 26 AT 7:30 P.M. | DOWNER THEATRE
At a Film Festival preview event, one of the organizers from Milwaukee Film described this movie as “if Yorgos Lanthimos directed Chicken Run.” That sounds … incredibly unsettling and likely a little gross and funny in an awful way and probably a bit miserable. So of course I’m on board. The Greek film follows the titular hen as she escapes a farm and undertakes a fight to save her eggs from hungry humans. If I had heard only that summary, I would assume this was a heartwarming tale and that the little hatchlings would go on to live long and fulfilling chicken lives, but that whole Yorgos thing makes me think that we’re in for some dark turns here.
4. Now! More! Yes!
SATURDAY, APRIL 18 AT 12 P.M. | ORIENTAL THEATRE
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 22 AT 10:30 P.M. | ORIENTAL THEATER
The trailer for this local documentary begins with the sentence: “The day I stop loving weird shit – that’s the day my soul has finally totally evaporated.” As I type these words while gazing upon a caricature of me as a fish pinned to my cubicle wall, a small gargoyle perched above my desk, and a long-expired raisin clutched between the fingers of a tiny hand sculpture alongside my laptop, I feel this sentiment deeply – and it has convinced me that I need to see this movie. The documentary follows TW Hansen, a blind “picture car wrangler” who is being filmed by Milwaukee artist Max Hey. The filmmaker decided to make this documentary after witnessing Hansen purchasing an ambulance with no keys on an auction website.
5. The Last Critic
SATURDAY, APRIL 18 AT 1:30 P.M. | DOWNER THEATRE
SUNDAY, APRIL 19 AT 11 A.M. | ORIENTAL THEATRE
THURSDAY, APRIL 23 AT 1:30 P.M. | ORIENTAL THEATRE
Whenever I encounter the phrase “print is dead,” I beat my chest like an ape and bellow at the top of my lungs. It’s the desperate defense mechanism of a journalist in love with a medium facing constant assault and degradation. (I’ve been trying to get the others editors here to join me, but they just ignore me. Which, to their credit, is really hard to do when I’m bellowing.)
I say this because the description of this film uses that exact phrase. To be precise, it says “…albums are increasingly irrelevant, print is dead, and algorithms have eclipsed critics.” Brutal. This movie follows Robert Christgau, one of the most influential rock music critics of all time, who began writing in the 1960s. Now in his 80s, he is contemplating the future of music criticism.
6. My Brother’s Killer
SATURDAY, APRIL 18 AT 4:15 P.M. | ORIENTAL THEATRE
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 22 AT 3:30 P.M. | ORIENTAL THEATRE
This crime documentary has a local connection and an interesting backstory. It follows the long-unsolved murder of Billy Newton (aka Billy London), a gay adult film performer who grew up in rural Wisconsin. The film began as a tribute to London, but quickly turned into an investigation into his death. Also, no joke, I sort of have a cameo in this movie. (Or at least my writing does.) Back in 2021, I interviewed the movie’s director Rachel Mason, who had reached out to Milwaukee media to see if anyone could help with her effort to learn more about London’s murder. She thought there might potentially be a Jeffrey Dahmer connection, and she put out a call asking folks who knew anything to contact her. The interview eventually led to a man named Clark Williams emailing Rachel, which led – after the many twists and turns the film documents – to their eventually cracking the case.
7. Silent Friend
SATURDAY, APRIL 18 AT 7:15 A.M. | ORIENTAL THEATRE
THURSDAY, APRIL 23 AT 2:15 P.M. | DOWNER THEATRE
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29 AT 1:30 P.M. | ORIENTAL THEATRE
I’ll always remember this one time I was hanging out with two of my friends. One of them got a call from his girlfriend and when she asked how we were all doing, he said, “Well, Archer hasn’t said a word in about an hour, but that’s pretty normal.” So, you see, I was immediately interested in a movie called Silent Friend. Turns out the titular friend is a tree though, not a short, pale man from Wisconsin who has trouble verbalizing. That tree is a majestic ginkgo in a German university town, and it stands at the center of the movie’s three interconnected stories, set in 1908, 1972 and 2020. I’m a sucker for multiple timelines and also trees, so this one’s got me.
8. I Swear
SUNDAY, APRIL 19 AT 12:45 P.M. | ORIENTAL THEATRE
TUESDAY, APRIL 22 AT 1:45 P.M. | DOWNER THEATRE
In 1980s Scotland, John Davidson grows up with severe Tourette’s syndrome, a condition that causes him to engage in tics and to uncontrollably swear. He quickly finds out that the world around him doesn’t understand his condition, which repeatedly gets him into trouble. The feature, based on reality, follows John’s attempts to live with the often misrepresented condition and eventually to campaign on behalf of those with it and to educate the public about it.
9. The Python Hunt
SUNDAY, APRIL 19 AT 7 P.M. | ORIENTAL THEATRE
MONDAY, APRIL 27 AT 3:30 P.M. | DOWNER THEATRE
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29 AT 2 P.M. | ORIENTAL THEATRE
Some of the movies on this list are chosen because I’m drawn to the director or to the cast. Some are chosen because they have relevance to a Milwaukee audience. Some are chosen because they explore a topic that means something important to me. And then some are chosen because I really, really want to post the photo that Milwaukee Film sent us along with the screening info.
This is one of those photo ones. Dude. Just look at the picture down there.
Did you know that every year Florida invites the public to compete in a 10-night “invasive python removal contest” in the Everglades? That’s the kind of thing that’s just begging for a documentary – and here we have it. This film follows a group of those amateur hunters, along with one professional who is leading “the charge to undermine the competition.” Man, I just gotta see what these python hunters are up to. If that photo is any indication, it’s going to be wild.
