There are few things in life I can count on more than my West Coast Sunday Boyfriend. He’s always there to help, listen, and have a wicked good time. He’s one of the truest and most genuine nice guys I’ve been lucky enough to meet. Yep, I’m here to tell you…nice guys do exist!
My West Coast Sunday Boyfriend and I met 10 years ago when we were both working for major sports teams. I was in Milwaukee and he was in…well, let’s just say he was on the west coast. And weirdly enough we met in Vegas. I think this is a most appropriate post to make on the heels of last week’s Vegas Sunday Boyfriend disclosure (seeing as my West Coast SB was at my said first Vegas Sunday Boyfriend meeting). Hmmm…did I also mention my West Coast SB is fun? Smart. Funny. Considerate. Kind. True to his word. Loyal. With all those qualities it’s easy to say he is a Renaissance Man. Or in other words…a keeper!
I’m going to back up a minute to give some personal history. Don’t worry, I’ll make it all come together. I promise.
Having grown up with a sports lover (and walk-on Marquette University basketball player), dad, I was well versed in certain sports. When I first started working for the Brewers I remember thinking how proud he would have been to see me now working for the “big leagues.” Dad instilled a love of the game at an early age. As a young fan, I could not only recite all the names and jersey numbers of both my beloved Brewers and Bucks players, but could also rattle off a slew of percentages from memory…batting, three-point, ERA, points-per-game, RBIs, free-throws, etc. Sure I had fun watching the games (I even caught a baseball at a game-Rob Deer tossed it to me after catching a final out that popped to right field), but all my parrot reciting was more a testament to my dad’s love for the games. He loved it, so I wanted to love it. I can clearly remember knowing how to score a baseball game before knowing my multiplication tables. I can also recall the moment I thought Magic’s hook shot was a thing of beauty (which it was by the way). It was well before my knowledge of makeup, peer-pressure, and the opposite sex; this I can assure you. I share this because I want you to know how deep my love of sports, a common thread between my West Coast SB and me, goes.
So, fast forward to my first year with the team; with over 10 years’ experience in public relations and marketing under my belt for major corporations, entertainers, and non-profits, the awe of now working for my hometown team made me a tad unsure of myself. To deal with this uneasiness, my type-A went into overdrive. I was gunning to do my best no matter the cost to my sleep, my eating habits, my relationships, my health. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that job and my co-workers. I learned more about myself and others during my time with the team than at any other time. My co-workers were, and remain, some of the hardest working people I’ve ever known. I know everyone works hard, but unless you’ve been in the throes of professional sports, in particular baseball, you can’t know the crazy pressure that happens day in and day out from March through October (if you’re lucky). One hundred sixty two games to go full throttle for roughly 12 hours a day. And when you’re in it…well, if you love sports and are an adrenaline junkie…it’s pure joy.
But like I said, there are hidden costs to it. Like relationships. And I’m not just talking romantic relationships. No, I’m talking ALL relationships. Because it’s a job that can consume all your time, you’re lucky if you can find time to walk your dog let alone see your doctor, get your haircut, meet a friend for coffee, have a date, etc. It is one of those kinds of jobs where you can easily blur the meaning of working to live and living to work. My choices to join and leave the team remain two of the most life changing (for the better) decisions I’ve ever made. I’m forever grateful for what I learned both on and off the field.
Here’s where I get back to my West Coast SB…
So, here I am in my first year with the team and ready to give it my all, when I learn of a conference in Las Vegas with my counterparts from other teams. It was put together by an outside vendor who saw the opportunity to bring marketing-type folks together to share ideas, challenges, and opportunities for the upcoming season. Seeing as I was a newbie, I was more than excited to meet more folks and learn as much as I could.
When I arrived in Vegas, I realized not every team sent a representative, but there were more than 20 of us in attendance. The first thing this vendor did was to host a welcome party to mingle and meet. And this is where I first met my West Coast SB.
If you’ve been reading my posts, you’ll recall I characterized my West Cost SB as being larger than life. I say this because of my first impression at this meet and greet. At the time, My West Cost SB had been with his MLB team for several years and had been coming to this conference since its inception. So he knew everyone in the room. To see him in action, in his element, was a thing of beauty. Truly it was. He was loud. More accurately, his laugh was bellowing. He was charismatic. He was entertaining. He was hospitable. I watched him from the moment I entered the room because, quite frankly, it was fun to see the person with the loud voice I heard from about a mile away. Because the whole thing was a tad intimidating, I took a moment to breathe to get my “game face” on before jumping into the room. But one thing was for sure, the first thing I was going to do was meet this guy who owned the room. So I walked right up to him and found a smile. This is when he said his signature catch phrase…“Hey, how you doin’?”
Now I realize his catch phrase isn’t original. And if you ask him, he freely admits it is a tad cheesy. But when he says it, he can pull it off because of his no apologies confidence. And if you’ve been reading my blog, you know how much I dig confidence. Yep, I’ll say it again…confidence is sexy!
But whenever you meet someone new, I think the follow up to the opening line is really where the good stuff happens. I mean anyone can open a door, right? It’s what you do once you’re inside that really counts. So, what was My West Coast SB’s follow up? “Hey, you’re new to this group, right? Here, let me get you a drink and introduce you to some folks.” Um…yeah, he just hit a home run (pun absolutely intended). Now I really wanted to know more about this guy!
And over the last 10 years I’ve come to realize just how lucky I am to have met him. Because he’s proven over and over that the small action of taking me under his wing at that conference, his kindness, wasn’t a fluke. He really is a nice guy. He’s caring. He’s chivalrous. He’s loyal. He’s willing to put himself out there. He’s a good son, brother, uncle, and friend. And the more I got to know, the more I wanted to know.
So three seasons after meeting my West Coast SB, I make the decision to leave the team. And it wasn’t an easy decision. Because when you spend so much time at a job where you earn and give trust by working the Spinaltap way…to an 11…you can’t help but turn the people you work with into family. And I loved my Brewers family. But the environment of the front office had changed. A new style came in and, as it turned out, it made the place toxic. The best way I can describe it is this: it was similar to a hostile takeover. Good people, family, who had given their lives to the team for years were now no longer around. And witnessing this new protocol was not only tough to take, but it really shook my soul. I know it’s supposed to be a job and not a life. But watching people, who proved their dedication by sacrificing their personal time over the years to benefit the team, being now treated as persona non grata was too much for me to bear. Each time a family member was asked to leave, the air was permeated with distrust and paranoia. All conversations of family members still standing were, “Am I next?” And after much heartbreak, I decided this was no longer the environment I wanted to be in and handed in my resignation.
Now I get it. I get the comfort level of wanting people you know and trust around you if you take over. Honestly, I get it. But if you want a textbook version of how to do it the wrong way and alienate everyone, then this is the perfect example. I could go into specifics, but I won’t…at least not here. I bring it up only to share the atmosphere during the time so I can better tell you what I learned from my choices and my West Coast SB.
After I left the team, I was ill-prepared for the emotional fallout. I quickly found out who my true friends were and who was just interested in me because of the job. Sure, it hurt. It was humbling. But it was a great learning experience. It taught me the value of true friends. My West Coast SB stood out during this time. He was really there for me. He literally would put off work to talk to me when I needed a friend. He made it clear he was my friend because of me, not the job, and I’m sure he has no idea just how much I loved him for that. He said he admired my ability to be true to myself. And when he said that I wanted to jump through the phone and hug him.
So fast forward to today and my West Coast SB still says things that make me want to jump through the phone and hug him. When I tell him I appreciated his candor he always says, “Well weren’t not dating so I have no reason to lie to you.” Hmmm…When I call him out on what he means by this he always says when you are dating someone, or want to date someone, you always have to stretch the truth or say the things you know want to be heard. Again…hmmmm. When I ask him to elaborate on this, he gives the situation of a girlfriend asking if she looks beautiful before going out on the town. In this situation he says he always says she’s beautiful…even if she’s got a big piece of broccoli stuck in her teeth. When I ask why he’s not honest with her, he says he’s learned it’s better to make a woman happy no matter the cost. Interesting. On one hand I felt flattered I was being let in on knowing one of the “guy philosophies”—insight into how the male mind works on dating issues. And on the other I thought I better let him in on the idea that women always want to be told when they have broccoli in their teeth. So I did. And he’s always been honest with me…and I’ve done the same for him.
Like I said, there a few things I can count on more than my West Coast SB. So for all the heartache, and lessons, that came with working for the Brewers, one of the greatest things that came out of it, for me, was meeting my West Coast SB.
Here’s hoping all the Virginias out there know nice guys do exist…and Go Brewers!
As always, be good to yourself, your Sunday Boyfriends, and stay comfy.
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