Some people always have to try to find a magic pill. Here are some interesting recent attempts.
Ear Stapling
You’d think if there’s any orifice a dieter would want to staple, it would be the mouth. But, like most diets that would have a nasty side effect: Death, in this particular case. One of the rationales for this procedure say proponents is that the staple –which stays in place for 3-6 months — has a sort of acupuncture-like effect that suppresses hunger. I’m a big believer in acupuncture. But I’ve never had a needle sticking out of my ear for half a year. Does it work? Probably not.
DNA Testing
What sort of workout should you be doing? Check your DNA. Seriously. For a mere $299, a Boulder, Colo., company will read through your genetic code and determine what you’re best wired for in terms of exercise. After analyzing a biological sample of you — along with a detailed 55-question lifestyle survey — they send you a “personal action plan.” Or you could just put the $299 toward what you already like to do.
Skineez Jeans
People figure out girdles were a bad idea after someone had to invent the fainting couch. History repeats itself yet again. Skineez jeans are supposed to make you skinny by secreting a mixture of topical fat-fighting chemicals onto your thighs. One blogger awarded it the Slim Chance Award for Fraud and Quackery.
Sucking It In
This is what happens when people turn to pop stars for fitness advice. In this case, “I Kissed A Girl” singer Katy Perry: “I try to suck my belly in. Everyone should do that whether you’re on a red carpet or not. Even if you’re just going out to dinner with your boyfriend you should try and suck it in.”
Scientology Detox
Katie Holmes reportedly went on a “bizarre herbal detox plan which is favored by Scientologists,” according to the Daily Mail. The regiment reportedly includes extreme caffeine supplements, like those favored by body builders, and doses of the vitamin niacin “to purify the body.”
Eat Less, Move Around More
Wait, this doesn’t fit with the others. Exactly.
Weird Fitness Fads
Some people always have to try to find a magic pill. Here are some interesting recent attempts. Ear Stapling You’d think if there’s any orifice a dieter would want to staple, it would be the mouth. But, like most diets that would have a nasty side effect: Death, in this particular case. One of the rationales for this procedure say proponents is that the staple –which stays in place for 3-6 months — has a sort of acupuncture-like effect that suppresses hunger. I’m a big believer in acupuncture. But I’ve never had a needle sticking out of my ear for…
