Ugh. That’s what I can say about this week with my Sunday Boyfriends. I had either made or received contact with six of them. And some was good. Some indifferent. And some…notsomuch. But that’s par for the course with any relationship you have, right? Sometimes communication is great and you feel on top of the world; like a real bad mama-jama. Yes. I said bad mama-jama. And other times the communication is more than lackluster. The frustration of feeling as though you truly are aliens on those Venus and Mars planets is enough to make you tear your hair out and want to self-medicate with shoe therapy. What? You don’t drown your sorrows in a new pair of delicious t-straps? Hum…good to know.
Here’s the good: My East Coast Sunday Boyfriend, Email Sunday Boyfriend and Facebook Sunday Boyfriend. First let me say, thanks guys! Our connections, no matter how small, were welcomed this stressful week. I know, I know, every week and everybody has stress. But this week for me was a Spinal Tap 11; you know, when you wake up with every good intension of conquering the world, but go to bed feeling lucky you accomplished just one thing on your mile-long to do list. I tend to feel defeated with weeks like this. Do you? It’s sort of that can’t-do-anything-right kind of feeling. Phooey! And with weeks like this, I tend to reach out to my Sunday Boyfriends in an effort to find some sort of bright-light distraction from my seemingly never-ending to do list. So thanks for taking my call, sending a note, or a flower this week. All were like a big encouraging hug.
Here’s the indifferent: My High School Sunday Boyfriend and Gay Sunday Boyfriend. I say indifferent because I reached out to both and haven’t heard back. No worries. These things happen. I’m not always in a place where I can return a call or note immediately, so I understand. I just hope both are well and that I hear from them soon.
And the notsomuch: My College Sunday Boyfriend. We had a disagreement this week. And if you’ve been reading my blog you know how much I loathe disagreements. I realize they are a part of life, but man, I try to do everything I can to avoid them. They make me uncomfortable. I mean, if I have to defend my point of view I will. Nobody puts me in a corner (you have NO idea how long I’ve been waiting to put this phrase in a post…thanks, Dirty Dancing). And I’ve been working on my reactions if I feel like I’m being put in a corner. I used to immediately put on my “Towanda” hat (if you get this Fried Green Tomatoes reference, then you are high on my list) and come out in a defensive, fighting frenzy. Look out! But over the years I’ve learned this isn’t constructive and tried to find a way I can still be a warrior-like Towanda while effectively making my point in a not so harsh way. Not an easy task.
And this is what I tried to do this week with My College Sunday Boyfriend. We disagreed over one of my recent posts. And hey, it’s okay to disagree with my point of view. I don’t mind that. I respect there are many points of view. But remember, I grew up with a border-line socialist attorney father and ended up an over thinker. I will be ready to go to the logical mat to defend my point and expect you to have all your ducks in a row and be fair, just as I try to do. And, honestly, I didn’t feel this happened this week. I mean, at one point, in what I can only assume was an effort to try to diffuse my argument; he called me “emotional.” C’mon…really? Emotional? Hey listen, if you are afraid of my passionate take on my point of view, respect that it matters me. Don’t try to dismiss my argument by calling me emotional. To me it is a sure sign you either don’t care about what I’m saying, or you weren’t prepared with your point of view and are now trying to shift the focus away from logic. This isn’t the first time we’ve argued and he’s called me “emotional.” Remember he is a button-pusher, so part of me thinks he does this to get a rise out of me. But it isn’t fair, regardless. This time it got me wondering if he’s ever called any of his guy friends, “emotional” when debating an issue. If the answer is never, then I think he needs to think about why that is.
So I took a day or two and then presented my argument in, what I approached to be, the most business-like account as possible. Still Towanda, but instead of crashing my car into his, I tried to explain why my car needed to be in the spot (again, if you get this Fried Green Tomatoes reference, we should really sit down for coffee sometime). No word back, yet. But that’s okay.
From this week of Sunday Boyfriend ups and downs, I take away the comfort knowing each of them, and yes, even My College Sunday Boyfriend, are always there for me.
As always, remember to be good to yourself, your Sunday Boyfriends, and stay comfy.
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