When the big boss man, Bruce Murphy, forwarded me an email about the latest State Fair gastronomical abomination, fried butter, and suggested it as a great item for the Cheap Eats column, I replied with a simple two-word email: “I quit.”
The Machine Shed (N14 W24145 Tower Pl., Pewaukee; as well as five other locations throughout the Midwest) is a homestyle restaurant that apparently prides itself on creating ever-more insane food items for the State Fair. Last year, they debuted chocolate-covered bacon and Krispy Kreme cheeseburgers. I may love cheeseburgers, but I have my pride.
Talked back from the brink, I headed out to the fair with the art department (Anne Baesemann, Kathryn Lavey and Kahara Schabach) in tow. Having them eat this garbage too was the compromise I reached. The State Fair has never been my thing. I’m just not a fan of big, sweaty crowds or the stagnant odor of manure (within five minutes of entering the fair, we were all very nearly pooped on by a cow). Call me a snob if you must, but I was wearing white shoes.
But I’m also a journalist, and when the editor gives you an assignment, you take it (remember this for my next performance review, Bruce). This year, for the indecisive or those who lost a bet, The Machine Shed is offering a “Best of the Fair” combo plate (chocolate bacon, Krispy Kreme burger, fried butter) for just $8. Perfect. I ordered one, found a shady spot near a bathroom (just in case), said a little prayer and dug in. Don’t say I never did anything for you.
Chocolate-Covered Bacon
This seems as good a place to start as any. I’ve had chocolate-covered bacon before and didn’t think much of it. I like chocolate. I like bacon. But the combination just fell flat, unable to break away from the novelty. The Machine Shed’s version differs from my previous encounter in that it’s just a long strip of bacon that has been drenched in chocolate. Despite the difference in approach, it still left me wanting. Although the bacon was surprisingly crispy, the chocolate was completely melted. I’m not sure if that was intentional or just a result of the relentless mid-summer sun, but, regardless, it didn’t sit well. To be fair, I doubt hardened chocolate would have sent me running for seconds, but I probably would have taken a second bite.
Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger
OK, deep breath. One bite won’t kill me … I hope. Generally speaking, I’m a huge fan of the salty-sweet combination (pineapple on my pizza, pineapple in my curry, pretty much any savory dish that involves pineapple, I’m on board). So that, coupled with my love of cheeseburgers, would seem to make this a natural for me. Well, not so much. The sweet/salty balance was a little out of whack – it’s hard to compete with a glazed Krispy Kreme donut. On top of that, the burger just wasn’t very good. A lukewarm, second-rate patty topped with unmelted American cheese? Nothing can make that appetizing. Of the three items, this was by far the biggest disappointment. The art ladies picked at the donut a bit, but we weren’t having it.
Deep-Fried Butter
Now for the pièce de résistance. I’m not a huge butter guy (as my repeated shots at Solly’s can attest). A nice organic French butter on a crusty baguette, sure. But something tells me the Machine Shed isn’t frying up pats of Échiré. Regardless, this was why we came. We cut into the little golden ball and a cloudy stream of melted butter came bubbling out. Not a good start. I hesitated for a moment, and then jumped in with both feet. I speared a piece with the white plastic fork and popped it in my mouth.
Okay, now know that I don’t say this lightly: It wasn’t bad. It was good, even. The wonton wrapper was unexpectedly thick, which gave it more substance than I was anticipating. And the butter had been heavily seasoned with black pepper, giving it a nice depth of flavor. Anne Baesemann even marveled at its subtle sweetness. (Though that might have been a byproduct of the random dusting of powdered sugar the platter came with. I honestly have no idea which of the three items it was intended for.) When you get right down to it, there wasn’t much separating it from a hot, butter-slathered dinner roll. And who doesn’t love that? I’ll probably never eat fried butter again, but I can say with certainty that I don’t regret doing so.
