Let’s do it. Let’s solve the NFL labor crisis right now. It’s easy, really.
Maybe not the details. Maybe they’re very difficult, in fact. Complicated and complex. Filled with chasms that seem impossible to bridge. I understand.
There’s a lot of cash to argue about. You’ve got player safety issues. That 18-game fiasco. Jerry Richardson’s next scowling target. And pensions and rookie wage scales and licensing deals and whatever else the lawyers and beancounters can conjure up. It’s a lot of stuff, and yeah, I get it. These are hard things to agree upon.
But the overall goal is exceedingly easy.
Play the darn games. Keep the cheers going.
Remember why you’re there.
That’s what the NFL told us in the Super Bowl’s most memorable commercial, complete with an unbronzed Fonz in a Packers jersey.
And you know what? I believe it. You can’t argue with Super Bowl ratings or Cleveland’s Dawg Pound or Fireman Ed or Lambeau Field’s infinite string of sellouts. NFL fans are the Best. Fans. Ever. And without them, there is no league, because there are no games.
Which, by most accounts, is exactly where we’re headed anyway.
So let’s cut it off at the pass before everyone just looks dumber than Peter Griffin.
You really want to solve this labor crisis? You want to keep the whole offseason on track and not miss a single minute of game time? The solution is simple.
Put a fan in the room.
Just one. Man, woman or child. Old fellow or young gal. Club level or nosebleed section. Doesn’t matter, because at their core, all fans are the same. So you just need one. Just a single seat at the table. They won’t even make a sound. Just let them sit and watch.
And, more importantly, let the negotiators watch them.
Every time a detail gets divisive, there will be the fan. Every time somebody wants to storm out of the room in a theatrical huff, there will be the fan. Every time one party wants to squeeze every ounce from the other, there will be the fan.
Sitting.
Watching.
Waiting.
And frankly, that should be enough.
Because I think the parties on both sides of the labor issue are inherently good people. I believe players and owners care deeply about the sport of football. Why shouldn’t they when it’s the very foundation of their pedestal? Both sides must care.
And while their individual priorities may be at odds, their overriding priority cannot possibly be.
It is the game. It may be playing the game. It may be making money from the game. But in the end, it is the game.
And the heart of the game is not a player nor a coach nor a marketing specialist nor an owner.
It is the guy who works a 9-to-5 gig all week so he can drink a beer in his Aaron Rodgers jersey while watching from Section 308. It’s the family that’s torn in 50 different directions on six other days but bonds over a silly, splendid game on the seventh.
It’s the littlest kid who wants to grow up to be the biggest football player.
Tell him why there won’t be a game come September. Tell him why the current economic paradigm is so bad that you have to kill the sport to save it. Tell him why you can’t play for a penny less than $325,000.
Tell him to his face.
Every single day.
Edgar Allen Poe had The Telltale Heart. Meet The Telltale Fan. He’s your constant reminder of why you’re in the room to begin with.
And when the negotiations drag out for another week and that fan has to go back to work or preschool, bring in another one. Trust me, they’ll line up for the sad duty. You could have a rotating schedule, one fan from every single team in the league, each with a time slot to do nothing but sit at that table and watch the fate of their beloved game play out.
All while the negotiators watch them.
They’ll come to an agreement. They’ll look at that fan every day and replace complexity with compromise, complications with common sense. If they have any semblance of a conscience, they will.
Yep, put a fan in the room and you’ll put games on the field. On schedule. I guarantee it.
Problem solved. Play ball.
Feel free to follow me on Twitter, where I tweet as howiemag. And tune in every Tuesday morning at 6:30 when I join Doug Russell and Mike Wickett on SportsRadio 1250 AM for Tuesdays with Howie.
