I’ve been thinking a lot about how we learn to be parents. For many of us, we do what our parents did, we do the opposite of what our parents did, we read books, we talk to friends and pediatricians, we adapt as we can. For some though, it’s just not an intuitive process at […]
I’ve been thinking a lot about how we learn to be parents. For many of us, we do what our parents did, we do the opposite of what our parents did, we read books, we talk to friends and pediatricians, we adapt as we can. For some though, it’s just not an intuitive process at all and, I’m guessing, that can be very scary.
A friend of mine, also a mother, was a little critical of another woman we know and her reliance on the parenting methods espoused by the Love and Logic creators. It seemed to my friend that the woman was too rigid in her application of the method and really didn’t know what to do if Love and Logic hadn’t taught her how to handle a situation. After witnessing the mother in question a few times, I realized that she was lucky to have something to turn to because, indeed, she was out of her depth in many situations.
I did a story not too long ago about whether it’s a good idea to be a “friends” with your children and one of the people I interviewed was Jan Buchler. She’s the director of The Parenting Network in Milwaukee. She pointed out that for some, parenting is not at all a natural process. In addition, for those who have children very young it can be extremely hard to stop being a child and begin parenting one. Buchler’s organization teaches the Love and Logic methods and she said she believes they are very useful for some parents. She said parents may need the suggested methods just at certain times in their child’s development, others need them consistently, and others create their own takes on them.
I’m not making any judgement call on Love and Logic or any of the other schools of parenting out there. I’ve just come to realize that while it might be easy to laugh about others who are in over their heads and pat ourselves on the backs about our own competent parenting, it’s a good thing there are some programs and training methods out there. For those who really need them once, always or somewhere in-between, it’s a whole lot better than nothing.
Who likes Love and Logic? Who likes other programs and which ones?