Ever since I started writing about, and introducing my Sunday Boyfriends, I’ve received emails asking for more insight into each guy. Hey, I get it and don’t blame you…they’re all great in their own ways. So in the spirit of honesty, I contacted my West Coast Sunday Boyfriend to see if he would be willing to answer some SB questions.
If you’ll recall, I wrote about my West Coast SB in a post earlier this year, but if you need a cliff-notes refresher, he is the confident, big-personality who knows how to command attention, tell a great joke, and be a wonderful in-the-moment listener. One of his favorite sayings is, “How you do-in’?” spoken in a classic, Italian (which he is) kind of way. He loves all things sports and all things family. (I’m a sucker for a guy who loves his mom.) But what I really want you to know about my West Coast SB is his loyalty.
We met when we were both working for the “major leagues.” Our personalities didn’t know we lived thousands of miles away from each other; we just hit it off from day one. During my baseball tenure, if I had a business-related question, I had no problem picking up the phone and asking my West Coast SB for advice. He was always honest and I counted on that. But here is the kicker. When I made the decision to leave the team, I had that haunting feeling to prepare myself for friend fallout. Little did I know just how many people would drop me when I gave up my business title. It was humbling to say the least. But the people who stayed by my side earned not just my total admiration, but also a friend in me for life. My West Coast SB is one of those people and I am richer for it.
So here it is, an honestly answered Q & A session with my West Coast SB:
Boxers or briefs?
At the moment, boxer briefs. I tend to change up what I wear, and I own both boxers and boxer briefs. It kind of depends on my mood, I guess.
Pool or pond?
Love Caddyshack! Classic movie! But I’m a pool guy, for sure. A nice warm day, relaxing in the pool with a couple of nice cold beverages…there’s not much better.
What do you like about being a SB?
I guess my favorite part is the ability to maintain a great friendship and enjoy someone’s company without the… pressures… baggage… um….responsibilities that come with a dating relationship. The ability to talk to or spend time with someone of the opposite sex who isn’t your significant other is good for a relationship, in my opinion.
What do you dislike about being a SB?
The lack of…. um…. privileges that come with a dating relationship.
Have you been a SB to anyone else? If so how many, for how long, what was great about each one, and why (if applicable) did it end?
I have had several relationships that would fall into the Sunday Boyfriend category. The main one is a former girlfriend (from high school) who is still my best friend. We dated on and off for a few years after high school and have been friends for more than 20 years. In fact, we’re still so close that she and her husband named their son after me. But there are a few others –former co-workers, long-time friends and even a girl I dated a few times before we both decided we weren’t really that attracted to each other but really liked hanging out.
Over the course of the years we’ve known each other, how did any of your significant others react to you being my Sunday Boyfriend?
I’ve never dated someone who had an issue with my friendships and relationships or was really the jealous type. I probably just jinxed myself.
Okay, be honest now, do you read the blog? If so, what is your favorite post and why?
I do read the blog and I love it! My favorite – there are two. I loved the one about me because it really gave me great insight into how you see me and reading about your impression of me when we first met had me laughing. My other favorite was the one about strip clubs (or more specifically, Vegas strip clubs). Your description and analysis of what goes on inside a club was hysterical.
What is the single most important thing you look for in a SG? Girlfriend?
Someone who is a great conversationalist. I can be a bit of a talker (as you well know) so I appreciate someone who enjoys talking and debating various subjects. But a sense of humor is a big deal as well. I’d say those are the two most important attributes for a girlfriend as well.
What was your first impression of me? You can be honest…really.
You just have such a bubbly, outgoing personality that I think I was drawn to you immediately. The fact that you are attractive didn’t hurt either.
What three adjectives best suit you?
To some people I’m funny, charming, and energetic. To others I’m loud, obnoxious, and annoying. I guess it depends on your point of view.
What does a great Sunday Boyfriend date verses a great boyfriend date look like to you?
I’m not sure there’s a difference. In either case, I want to have fun, laugh a lot, and end the night by thinking, “I can’t wait to do that again.”
It’s a typical Saturday night…whatcha doing?
Probably staying home, cooking a great meal, and watching some sporting event. I know that sounds boring, but I really don’t go out much.
What would you say is the most challenging thing about being a SB?
I think it’s the realization that the other person enjoys spending time with you but isn’t actually attracted to you enough to want a relationship. That can be deflating if it’s someone you’re attracted to and they aren’t. On the other hand, the sexual tension that comes with a SB/SG relationship can be one of the best parts.
Quick fire choices…first reactions from your gut…what is more important to you. Smarts or looks?
Smarts. Fifteen years ago I would probably have answered differently. It’s amazing what maturity can do for you.
Funny or money?
Funny. We can joke about not having money together.
Carefree or planner?
Planner. I’m the exact opposite, so it’s good to have someone to balance me out.
Fashion or football?
Football. Nothing beats football. Nothing.
Movie or concert?
Concert.
Jeans or skirts?
I guess I’ll say jeans. I’m good with either.
Casual or formal?
Casual.
Pleasing everyone or being true to yourself?
Being true to yourself…but I admit I’m sometimes guilty of trying to please others when I should hold my ground.
What is the one thing you think women get wrong about dating? Relationships?
Some will disagree with me on this, but I think women play “the game” way more often than men do. In general, women spend more time thinking about and analyzing dating and relationships, and I think it often leads to paralysis by analysis. Instead of trying to figure out what every aspect of a date or relationship means, it’s better to just go with your gut, have fun, and see where the ride takes you.
What is the one thing you think men get wrong about dating? Relationships?
Not realizing that women are analyzing EVERYTHING that happens on a date. She’s trying to figure out what every smile, comment, or glance means. Meanwhile we’re just admiring her eyes and trying to decide what to order for dinner. As a result, we usually don’t pick up on the subtle clues and hints – good or bad. I’m a serial offender and couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve thought “Well, that date was a disaster;” only to find out months later that she was totally into me and crushed I never called.
Name two things that attract you to someone?
Easy – intelligence and humor. By far those are the two things that stand out and make someone attractive to me. Physically, I’m a sucker for great eyes. I’m powerless if she has fantastic eyes. Or great boobs. Those work, too. (Sorry, maturity-wise I’m still only 15.)
What is your favorite thing in the world to do?
Either play poker or cook. I love the challenge of poker and the mental aspect. It’s a game where you can truly outplay someone and you’re measured by how many chips you have in front of you. As for cooking, I learned from my grandmother and my parents and I truly enjoy it. Creating a great meal with friends and family is gratifying on so many levels.
Okay, now think about this one. Be honest. What is the best thing about being my SB and the worst?
Best: You can always make me laugh and have no problem calling me on my BS. Worst: Honestly, I don’t have any negatives. Maybe the fact that we never… well, you know. Let’s go with that!
Every time I hear the Beastie Boys and White Stripes I think of you, but what song would you like me to add to your SB soundtrack?
Oh…so many to choose from. You know I am a big believer in the meanings of songs, so this is a tough one for me. I could name 20 songs that mean so much to me. I’ll give you two. First one is Unthought Known, by Pearl Jam. It’s not one of their well-known songs, but I find it inspirational and meaningful for several reasons. I’m such a big PJ fan that they are my go to when I need a musical pick-me-up. The second is Minority, by Green Day. It captures my rebellious side that only those closest to me even know exists.
So whether you and your Sunday Boyfriend have a “strictly casual” type of relationship, or you’re so comfortable with each other that you name children after each other, the bottom line still applies: Be kind, be honest, practice mutual respect, and don’t be afraid to go after what you want.
I’ll be posting more Q & A sessions with other Sunday Boyfriends in the future. In the meantime, if you have a question for my West Coast SB, any of my SBs, or heck, even me, please let me know. I do read every note, comment, and question that comes my way and appreciate them all.
Until next time, remember to be good to yourself, good to your Sunday Boyfriend(s), and stay comfy.
If you are looking for more SB information, check us out at our blog, our Facebook page, or Twitter.
