Yeah…my week was kind of like that.
But here’s the thing. For all the stupid things I have ever said, all the past relationship choices that make me want to bash my head against a wall, and all the missed “that’s what he said” opportunities, I still recognize and value my ability to be able to fall on my face, get back up, and try again.
America is the country of reinvention. We reinvented a free way of life (democracy). We reinvented music (jazz). We reinvented entertainment (reality TV)…okay that last one is a stretch. My point is, we are lucky to live in a country, a time, where freedom is valued.
So let me get to the nitty gritty and ask…Why aren’t more of us capitalizing our ability to freely go after what we want in this life? Why aren’t more of us freely choosing to encourage one another’s strengths and voices? Why aren’t more of us actively deciding to make the time to be kind? Are we really that busy? Are we really that afraid of one another? Are we really going to sit rather than jump in?
Are you thinking about it?
Then chew on this.
A good friend of mine lost her son this week. He suffered a stoke due to complications from spina bifida. He was 30 years old. A source of light for his family, his mother shared how lucky they were to have the 30 years with him (the last 12 being relatively 100 percent healthy due in part to his tireless medical team) seeing as he wasn’t expected to live much longer than his birth. After being told this time there wasn’t any hope, he was taken off life support on Wednesday.
Reading his mother’s words describe how he believed the best day of his life was being his brother’s best man and gaining a sister, made me take pause. But what struck me even more, was learning how he knew this day was coming and didn’t want a service. He didn’t want flowers. Rather, he wanted people to “pay it forward.”
So this is my small attempt to honor that request.
Are you thinking about what you want out of this life a little more now?
Are you thinking of ways you can “pay it forward?”
To start, free yourself from carrying all the stupid things you wish you never said, all the failed relationships you can’t go back and change, all the different ways you put yourself down, and let today be the day you start living your life your way because you recognize you can.
If you see something you like, say something. Tell a cute guy he’s cute. Tell your best friend how fantastic you think they are. Tell a really put-together woman you like her style. Don’t filter kindness. No one ever went home thinking I wish that person didn’t tell me how great I am. Seriously. Don’t be stingy on the kindness.
I realize this isn’t easy as I didn’t always do this. I was more quick to speak up when something was wrong; when someone made a mistake rather than herald someone for something I liked. But over time, I discovered the reason why I felt I was always surrounded by negativity was because that was the only thing I was putting out there. I was responsible. Not the check-out girl for ringing me up too slowly; not my ex for disagreeing with me; not my boss for not living up to my expectations. My existence was constantly being at the ready to pounce on anyone and everyone who I felt had slighted me. My world was a constant negative stress ball because I made it that way. Once I decided to change my everyday outlook and began vocalizing kindness more readily, I had the kind of positive life shift I was missing.
So today, I’m going to send a note to each of my Sunday Boyfriends, letting them know I think they are great…all in their own unique ways. I’m going to tell my East Coast Sunday Boyfriend how much I like his sometimes-over-the-top humor. I’m going to let my West Coast Sunday Boyfrined know I miss hanging out with him because he’s always so much fun. I’m going to tell my High School Sunday Boyfriend how great it was to see him and his family last week. I’m going to respond to the wonderful email my Email Sunday Boyfriend sent to me. I’m going to text a delicious food-related photo to my Foodie Sunday Boyfriend. I’m going to send a flower to my Facebook Sunday Boyfriend. I’m going to tell my College Sunday Boyfriend that despite our recent challenges, I’m glad we’re friends. I’m going to tell my Gay Sunday Boyfriend just how lucky I am to have him in my life. To get the kindness ball rolling, I just told my significant other he’s cute.
I realize bad stuff is always around us, and it seems we are reminded more of this every election season. But I know you can remeber a time when a stranger said something kind to you or did something kind for you. Remember that? Kind words and actions are so powerful they leave a mark that makes us smile upon recall. Be the stranger, person, who leaves marks like this and you’ll discover you are already paying it forward.
As always, stay comfy and be good to yourself and your Sunday Boyfriends. If you are looking for more SB information, check us out at our blog, Facebook page, or Twitter.
