Dear Nikol,
I have an active sex life and don’t always use protection when I know I should. If I’m really embarrassed about it, can I lie to my doctor and get tested anyway?
-Horny and Unprepared
Dear HaU,
You are not embarrassed to have unprotected sex. Yet you are embarrassed to get tested.
You know all those stories out there about strange things that ER doctors find in people’s butts? I bet it would be embarrassing to have to go to the ER to get a jelly jar taken out of your butt. Have you ever seen a woman walking around with her skirt tucked into her panty hose so her butt is showing? That’s pretty embarrassing for everyone. Know what would be really embarrassing? Having to tell someone (or a more than one person) that you may have given them a STI. That would be embarrassing.
Do you see where I am going with this? Asking your doctor for a fairly routine STI test? Not embarrassing. Your doctor sees many patients every single day. She or he has to examine hemorrhoids. Doctors look at every body part imaginable. By a few years in I am willing to bet that there is little that they haven’t heard or seen. As health care professionals they would rather give you an STI test than have to treat STI symptoms. I could see if you were asking your pastor to take a look at some sores, but this is a person whose job it is to see to it that you stay healthy. And you don’t even have to tell your doctor that you are having all sorts of sex to ask them to swab you and do some blood work.
The world isn’t so cut and dry and I understand that some people have docs they’ve been seeing for years. Some people have young, hot doctors who make them nervous. Some people see the same doctor that the rest of the family sees. So those people may have a harder time talking about anything sexual to their doctor. Insurance companies aren’t really that keen on allowing people to see more than one primary care physician, so even asking your normal doctor for a referral wouldn’t deal with your issue of feeling uncomfortable.
This is why we are so lucky to have another option. In most communities there are public health clinics like Planned Parenthood. Not only can you score free condoms at those places (and I advise you do so) but you can also get tested there. These are docs and nurses who wouldn’t bat an eye at your sexual history. The testing is free, but these clinics are worth making donations to if you’ve got something extra in your pockets.
Instinct leads me to want to shake you a little bit and tell you to stop having unprotected sex. But people do have unprotected sex and more often than they usually care to admit, partially because admitting it means everyone tells you how stupid you are. You need to be careful, though. And if you are not mature enough to get tested, you are not mature enough to be having any kind of sex at all.
Use a condom. Stay in school. Eat your vegetables.
– Nikol
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Questions? If you have a question for Nikol, you can reach her confidentially at lovesexetc@milwaukeemagazine.com.Your anonymity will be protected.
