A few columns back, I wrote about attending the Parachute Project, a two day art installation held in empty spaces at the historic Plankinton Building. A collaborative effort by Colin Matthes and Kati Heck, the creative duo hit a vein of gold with their spectacular “We Buy Gold.” And I’m here to tell you it was so spot-on that I later learned a few visitors actually thought it was a genuine place to sell their family jewels. Overheard: “Wow, it’s great to know there is a place to sell our stuff.” The place being floor two of the gorgeous building.
Thinking about it makes my teeth ache.
Tucked into a space (perhaps formerly occupied by a small jewelry store), the glitter in and on the glass case consisted of bold rows of “gold teeth.” Plastered on the walls were numerous handmade signs in garish orangey yellow-gold. Had I not known about the Parachute Project I, too, would have swallowed the bait. Full disclosure: I actually did sell a gold filling I found in my jewelry box. But not to the Project people. My filling brought in the princely sum of $25, and I had to climb two flights of stairs on Brady Street to seal the deal.
Did I mention that the rows of gold choppers were painted plaster casts? No? Allow me to tell you another tooth tale….
A few years ago I had all of my choppers drilled to a nub and crowned with porcelain. Part of the year long endurance test was a visit to a dental lab in Cudahy, where I observed tooth-making. Hunched over a bench, drill in hand, was a young lady putting the finishing touches on a pricey molar. Patient and perfect, she was a graduate of the Milwaukee School of Art & Design, a sculpture major. Well, everyone has to start somewhere. I do like my fake choppers though.
These are desperate times, never mind that my son is trying to sell a former gold mine near Scottsdale. If you don’t believe me, check out Sotheby’s International Real Estate on the web. So far only rattlesnakes and mountain lions have shown any interest, plus a few tire-kickers from China, but even China is cash poor.
Anyway, back to the gold scam on floor two. And here I need to add that a neighborhood group in Walkers Point has put the finger on a guy going door to door asking residents if they have any gold to sell, gold being a hot commodity but not as hot as a few months ago. It’s hard times when even the rich run short of cold hard cash. Seems our fair city requires a license and a permanent address before one can deal in dazzle. The days of true street-grit entrepreneurial efforts are long gone.
For your enlightenment, I’ve included an image of one of the handmade signs, made by the busy hands of art guy, Colin Matthes. Signed on the backside, it’s Styrofoam backed with plastic and is number 27 in an edition of 35. For this I paid $30. I thought about displaying it in the window of my condo, so residents could see it and wonder if they should travel up to floor 17 and dump their rings and things.
Thank you Colin and Kati. You rock.
