Republican Chris Christie decided not to “run” for the presidency, but imagining him running for anything (except dinner) is difficult. My dad once told me that if I didn’t slim down and stop eating biscuits and grits with gravy, I’d have to order my clothes from Omar the Tent Maker. I paid attention, but oh those pounds creep up over the years, so recently I shed an unwelcome 36 lbs, and I did it without dancing with a star.
As I write, a Schwinn Aerodyne bike stares at me from a corner in my office. Fifteen minutes twice daily and I can hardly walk. It’s the old original model with the big fan mounted on the front. The faster I pedal, the stronger blows the wind. When aboard the beast, I often think of the Wicked Witch (from The Wizard of Oz), airborne and up to no good.
Of course being obese (hefty, chubby, rotund, etc) is not a barrier to being President, after all, William Howard Taft wasn’t exactly svelte. Even burger chomping Bill Clinton was, ah, a bit round, but he seems to have changed his ways and is now touting the vegan lifestyle, which includes mostly stuff livestock eat. I didn’t realize there was an organization to protect the civil rights of the obese, but there is, and it came to the forefront when the media spotlight caught Christie looking not just fat, but morbidly obese. Like in heart-attack-obese. In an April television interview, the man who governs New Jersey, and is about the size of New Jersey, claimed he was working with a trainer and dieting. He declined to say how much weight he had lost, but Diane Sawyer, the interviewer sitting next to him, looked positively skeletal.
Eat a salad and take a walk. Eat a salad and take a walk. I don’t like salads because the greens get stuck in my bridge work and I don’t like walking either. But I now that the Schwinn has moved in, I can hide and ride. For dinner I ate a boneless chicken breast and three prunes. It’s hell.
This condo building is filled with the slim and trim who must be eating salads and walking or working out in our workout room downstairs. You’d never catch me there. I dislike public exercise. We also have fat folks living here. A lady friend of mine lost 100 lbs. She doesn’t exercise. Nor does she eat much, and everything she eats is weighed first.
I feel for Chris Christie. And for those media types who sit behind desks in order to hide what’s below their waistlines. Only the buff are allowed to display themselves fully. They’re the ones wearing spandex and big smiles. Another Chris, Chris Matthews of media fame, looks either slim or chubby, depending on how his hair is parted on any given newscast….and then there’s Rush Limbaugh (known to me as “Mush Limpaw”). I saw him wearing a horizontally stripped black and white shirt on television, while ranting about the Wall Street protests. His whine was that the protesters, unlike Mush-Mouth, had never held real jobs. Even if he was rail-thin and didn’t look like a barrel in a dumb shirt, I wouldn’t like him. His arm-waving rant was followed by the Comb-Over King, Trump, who said the protestors were on the street looking for dates. It’s too late, ranters, the world is paying attention to people rallying round Wall Street, and around the world, including our town, Milwaukee.
Meanwhile, our Prez remains slim and has allegedly quit smoking.
