Hi Nikol!
First I just wanna say that I’m a huge fan of the Midwest Teen Sex Show. Now that’s over, I have a question about birth control. I am 17, and I would like to get on birth control just in case. My boyfriend and I use condoms every time, and plan on doing so even after I get birth control, but my parents are flat out against it. I realize I sound like a whiny teenager, but being prepared is important to me. Are there ways to get on birth control without your parents’ consent? Or do I just have to wait until I’m 18? Are the laws different depending on the state?
– Safety First
Dear Safety First,
If every whiny teenager were whining about making the personal choice to be safer with their bodies, 95 percent of bad teenage poetry would be eliminated.
I am so glad that you have decided that condoms aren’t enough protection. It is very smart to use two forms of contraception at once. This doesn’t mean using two condoms, by the way, as using two condoms increases the risk of the condoms breaking. Condoms are needed to prevent STIs and pregnancy, but to be safer about the chance of pregnancy it is best to be on a back-up form of birth control.
It is really too bad that your parents have told you that they don’t support your decision to protect them from an early grandchild. I suppose they think this will stop you from having sex, just as many parents believe that consenting to birth control pushes their teens toward becoming sex fiends. At the same time that children are being told that abstinence is the only way to guarantee that God will buy them a pony, parents are being told that teens are sex maniacs and the only way to stop this is to forbid them to even think about sex.
With teen pregnancy back on the radar as a rising statistic, it is easy to see why many parents panic. However, moving beyond the panic means that it makes sense to talk to our teens about sex and be supportive of getting them on birth control. Congratulations to you for having the guts to approach your parents to ask them about birth control in the first place.
Enough back-patting and lecturing from me, though. What you really need is some good information on getting confidential birth control services. Planned Parenthood’s Web site allows you to search for a clinic in your area. This search will also list the services provided at the different offices as well as a phone number. Their teen site advises that when you call to schedule your appointment you also ask if they provide confidential services. The reasoning they give is vague, stating that some clinics cannot provide confidential services “for one reason or another.”
I called six different offices in six states, and each of them said that they do provide confidential services to teens. This includes birth control. You can use the site (plannedparenthood.org/issues-action/birth-control/teen-pregnancy-21014.htm) to find a center.
And don’t give up on your parents. I always say the best way to get your parents to consent to birth control is to sit them down, tell them you are pregnant, then say “Just kidding. I would like to start taking birth control.” (This is not recommended for parents with heart conditions or quick tempers.)
Good luck,
Nikol
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