Dear Nikol,
So, say you’ve worked up the courage to ask someone out, someone really popular. But along the way you’ve made a fool of yourself by letting them know how great you really think they are. And, despite the fact that they don’t know you from Adam, they agree to a date. What do you talk about? I mean, how do you avoid “The Chris Farley Show,” on the one hand, and…heck, what is on the other hand? How do you show an interest in who they are and what interests them without seeming like a doofus sycophant?
– Afraid to Date
Dear Afraid To Date,
There is no other hand. “The Chris Farley Show” is the only thing worth talking about, ever.
Dating sucks, doesn’t it? Kudos on the courage to ask her out, but now you’ve got to sweat through every decision from the location of the date to wearing the best pants to show off your butt. Then the hardest stuff is the conversation.
Should you stalk out every bit of info on what she is into so you can prove that you, too, are into cross stitching? Probably a bad idea. So I’m going to bust out a bit of banality on you here and tell you that what you need to do is be yourself. You were the person who asked her out. She said yes to you.
Maybe she was just being nice. People do that sometimes. They’d rather accept a date and then keep blowing a person off – or even go on a date with someone they aren’t into – than say no and risk hurting the other person’s feelings. Or maybe she’s really into you, despite you having told her (gasp!) how great you think she is. Some people enjoy going out with people who adore them.
Now, this is all ice cream flavored dreamlike utopian perfect world advice. Just be yourself and everything will be perfect! Probably not perfect. Maybe the date will go terribly. You’ll sit there enduring a lot of awkward silences or you’ll ramble too much or the restaurant will catch on fire and you’ll have to decide between rescuing your date or orphans. But if things don’t go well while you were just relaxed and being yourself you will know that you two aren’t right for each other.
By the way, some ladies find the doofus sycophantic type irresistible.
– Nikol
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Questions? If you have a question for Nikol, you can reach her confidentially at lovesexetc@milwaukeemagazine.com.Your anonymity will be protected.
