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Frozen pizza, how do we love thee? Let us count the ways. In per capita consumption, Wisconsin outshines all others. In frozen pizza production, our state also rules. And have you seen the number of freezers the average local grocery store has filled just with frozen pizza? Right? We’re obsessed.
It’s time to pick your Milwaukee favorites for the year!
Honoring Milwaukee’s affinity for cracker-thin crust pies, we narrowed down our search for the best to five challengers, all of them Wisco-made, wafer-thin pizzas topped with cheese and pepperoni. All were popped into preheated ovens at the recommended temperature.
Less than 15 minutes later, our panel of eight MilMag staff judges assessed the crust, sauce and toppings, as well as the pie as a whole, giving each pizza an overall rating of 1 to 10 (10 being the best) for a highest possible total score of 80. Yes, there was a clear-cut favorite:
Screamin’ Sicilian Tavern Style ($7.99)
SCORE: 58 out of 80 | *EDITORS’ CHOICE*
The flaky, almost buttery crust, topped with “crispy pepperoni, and lots of it.” “Nice smoky flavor, can see specks of spice,” and “best combo of spicy, sweet, cheesy.” In summary, this pizza from Milwaukee’s own Palermo’s “tastes like Uncle Giuseppe cooked this baby up for me.”
Palermo’s Primo Thin ($5.69)
SCORE: 42 out of 80
Tasters noted the unusual sauce – “not very salty, more tangy,” the flourish of diced pepperoni along with the usual slices, and the “crisp, sturdy” crust. Ultimately, though, it was “doomed by the weird sauce.”
Luige’s Ultra Thin ($8.39)
SCORE: 39 out of 80
Though it had a lot of “thick peps” and “sweet, tart” sauce, it was too light on cheese. Judges were divided on the crust, one calling it “doughy” and “like thick cardboard,” while another praised its “nice flavor.”
Jack’s Original Thin ($4.49)
SCORE: 31 out of 80
While one judge loved this ubiquitous frozen pizza (“my favorite crust of them all”), everyone else panned it, noting the sauce’s “odd chemical flavor” and “anemic,
bargain-basement-level crust.”
Emil’s Main Street Original ($5.69)
SCORE: 19 out of 80
From the “slimy,” “soggy” crust to the cheese’s “strange aftertaste,” this pie was a dud. “I couldn’t finish my piece,” one judge said, reflecting the overall sentiment.
