Step on Your Neck

When Iraq invaded the Kuwaits in 1991, the almighty USA was so caught up in our bully on the playground imperialist giddiness, we failed to deliver the knockout one-two that would have driven Sadaam to his sorry-ass knees. “Okay dick-weed, here’s the deal: We’ll stop pummeling you with our arsenal of smart bombs if, and only if, you agree to take over the daily operations of Kuwaiti Airlines.” That’s it, you delusional prick.  A no strings attached gift from your American brethren and this time, no tricks up our diabolical sleeves.  I have no idea what the general Kuwaiti populace…

Gano Smith had just shot and bludgeoned his entire family to death. I was 9, staying with my paternal grand parents in Sigourney, Iowa when the news broke that this blood-thirsty madman was running rampant in our area. Gano had always been considered a harmless and gentle man by those who knew him; a 24-year-old dullard who had been adopted at birth by this family of God-fearing farmers. Then, in the summer of 1962, he  came unglued and took out the only six people who had ever shown him any kindness. The papers said he was armed and dangerous and that…

  Catholic Chicks … Holy Christ Good God Almighty. While they were busy praying I got busy preying on that notorious Catholic guilt and let me tell you, it’s no myth. The Jews may have invented the concept of guilt, but Catholics took it to a whole other level. As a self-proclaimed prophet once told me while in the grips of a three-day whiskey bender at the Uptowner (and what a place to acquire wisdom that down and out joint is), “Jews feel guilty about letting down their mothers while Catholics only worry about disappointing God.” The trouble with damn…

The mania raged non-stop for six straight months, a relentless euphoria. Decisions, if you could call them that, were made on a dime. Push the envelope and dodge the shrapnel. I was invincible. No kill switch and no boundaries, blurting whatever raced through my ticker-tape brain. I was in orbit, spinning into the abyss and everybody knew it, except me of course. When the mania kicks in, you’re just along for the ride. I was in the moment, the toast of the town, on top of my game and nothing was beyond my grasp. Anything and everything was there for…