During the dog days of summer — when the brutal heat, bright sunshine and nagging sense of inevitable loss and decay are really getting to you — there’s nothing better than a smoothie. It’s a classic, always-refreshing, usually-healthy way to stay energized and lively so you can keep on raging against the dying of the light all summer long.
On the Bus
The Milwaukee Public Market is a great one-stop shop for all your food needs, and in 2017, it added one of the smoothest smoothie spots in the city — On the Bus. This health food stand is easy to find, since its storefront is literally a 1971 VW bus parked inside the market. Peruse their solid selection of smoothies (only $5.50 each) and other healthy foods to enjoy.
400 N Water St.; (414) 204-8585
Mon-Fri: 10 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sat: 8 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sun: 10 a.m.-6 p.m.
Beans and Barley
This café and market is open for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and boasts a healthy selection of smoothies. Their range is admirable, from the Chocolate-Banana smoothie to the Electric Green, which mixes up kale, apple, pear, spinach, parsley, cucumber and lemon into the healthiest of the healthy smoothies.
1901 East North Ave.; (414) 278-7878
Open all week, 8 a.m.-9 p.m.
The Ks are printed backward on Krazy Kitchen‘s sign — that’s how you know this place really is krazy. This restaurant’s specialty in fried chicken might lead you to believe it’s not the place for a smoothie, but you would be wrong! (Remember, they’re krazy.) Along with their chicken, Krazy Kitchen has a great selection of smoothies that mix up interesting ingredients, such as the Awaking (coffee, milk, cinnamon, honey, banana and dates) and the Fly to the Sky (strawberries, spinach, banana, pineapple and coco water).
5266 S. 27th St.; (414) 324-6666
Mon-Thur: 10 a.m.-11 p.m.; Fri: 10 a.m.-midnight.; Sat: 10 a.m.-1 a.m. Sun: 11 a.m.-11 p.m.
The Juice Kitchen
During a dark night of the soul, you might find yourself searching for a cleanse — a way to rid your body of decades of hedonistic overindulgence, unfettered decadence, nihilistic leanings and beer-battered cheese curds. This is what The Juice Kitchen is all about. This Lindsay Heights cafe offer smoothies and juices with tons of nutritional benefits that will cleanse away your cares. Order their products online, as well.
1617 W. North Ave.; (414) 897-8635
Mon-Sat: 7 a.m.-3 p.m.
Beyond the pure joy of this establishment’s punny name, Urban Beets is also a great place for a refreshing smoothie on a sunny day. The health food joint and juice shop recently expanded, and they’re even planning a potential new location in Wauwatosa, which makes this summer the perfect time to jump on the Urban Beets train o’ smoothie goodness.
1401 N. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Dr.; (414) 800-6265
Tues-Wed: 7 a.m.-7 p.m.; Thur-Fri: 7 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sat: 9 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sun: 9 a.m.-4 p.m.
Bonus: The Jamba Juice Secret Menu
Yes, Jamba Juice is a national smoothie chain, not a local shop. But here’s a tip: they have a secret menu. Yup, it’s like National Treasure. The secret menu is full of unhealthy candy-flavored smoothies, such as Skittles and Butterfinger. None of these offerings are on the real menu, but if you ask for one, they’ll make it for you. In my personal opinion, the Sour Patch Kids Smoothie is a miraculous gift from above.
544 E. Ogden Ave.