Identifying a person who does too much is easy to do. I mean all you have to do is look in the mirror, right? At one point, our society celebrated busy. Heck songs were even written about how great it is for someone to bring home and cook “bacon” – in ways more than one. But these days, the great juggling act of doing-it-all to feel some sense of being-it-all is in question.
Have you seen or heard the latest studies (UCSF study for one) that say multitasking isn’t good for you or your long term memory? Hmmm…this explains a lot to this veteran type-A personality who is suddenly finding it difficult to remember why I went upstairs in the first place. It is, at least, one answer to try and explain these frustrating “senior” moments to someone who is decades away from being a “senior.”
If you are aware of these studies, let me ask you this…did they make you slow down or want to tear your hair out? I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about it. The one thing it did do for me, was to take a moment to really take stock in the way I approach my every day. I did an experiment to see how many projects I do, or directions I’m pulled, in any one day. And the answer shouldn’t really be shocking. A lot. But I don’t think I’m any different than the millions of other people out there who are taking on too much. It’s better to get 10 things done in a day than one, right? Right? That sense of accomplishment I get when checking off things on my to do list is pretty intoxicating. This “high” is what made me get up in the morning and repeat the attitude and behavior.
But this news, these studies, made me face that nagging voice in my gut that had been saying for years: “Why does everything need to be a rush?” So I ask you, when did a normal day, a normal existence, consist of jamming as many things as we can into the 60 minutes of every hour? When did life become more about conquering a great balancing act rather than enjoying the moment? What ‘s that? You have another project for me? Well let’s see, I could try to fit it in at 3:07 because that’s when I should have at least 13 minutes in between changing the oil in my car and installing that new garbage disposal. Would that work?
Um, no. I don’t think it’s working — at least not any anymore. It used to work when I was under the paradigm of inevitable success coming only if I was truly exhausted by the end of the day from getting as much done as possible. Heck, I even thrived with this kind of compartmentalized day structure when having to account for every minute when working at an agency. The more billable hours you logged, the more job security you felt. But if I’m going to be honest, all this “thriving intoxication” not only left me exhausted at the end of the day (and decade), but also with an unrealistic idea of how to measure success, and a feeling of defeat at the top of the stairs.
But nowadays the thought of proposing a slow down when folks don’t even look away from their phones when they walk, stay in touch via text rather than phone, and can find out any fact in mere seconds by asking Siri, may seem backwards. But chew on this question, that I heard on NPR from the book, Moonwalking With Einstein, by Joshua Foer. How many phone numbers of family and/or friends do you know by heart? I ask because I believe it intertwines with these multitasking studies. If the answer surprised you, then read on.
Back before cell phones and the Internet, “old timers” like me had only the telephone to coordinate dates with friends; we had to physically go to the library and look up information in books after spending an eternity deciphering the Dewey decimal system; we sent physical letters you could hold in your hands and keep. My point? We were in an environment where we were held responsible to remember more things on a moment’s notice because we didn’t have Google to rely on for the answer. Don’t get me wrong, I feel extremely fortunate to live in an age where I can find out information at the click of a button. But one of the consequences of this instant information age is that we aren’t in a position to have to know anything. We just have to know how to find out. And this can’t really be good for our brain power.
So, we now live in an instant world where we are trying so hard to be everything, and know everything, right now that our brains aren’t being stretched to their fullest potential. So, what’s the answer?
The answer is different for everyone, but change something up in your everyday that takes you away from the fast pace. Make the commitment to spend the time you need to visit the land of the “old timers.” Read a couple chapters of a book before you go to bed. Call your Sunday Boyfriend rather than text. And get to a comfy place of finding answers that require more time than clicking a button.
As always, stay comfy and be good to yourself and your Sunday Boyfriends.
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