photos by Dan Bishop
It took a month to visit the 14 first-run movie theaters in the Milwaukee area, a whirlwind cinematic tour that included ingesting disgusting amounts of popcorn and brutal spring movie releases.
(I gained the utmost respect for Duane Dudek, Dave Luhrssen and other film critics who put up with the likes of Semi-Proon a daily basis.) Luckily, my visits were strictly about the theaters and not the latest celluloid schlock, so I was free to leave South Shore Cinemas early after deciding I didn’t really care if the cast of The Ruinsmade it out of the Mayan temple alive. And thankfully, I missed 10,000 BCal together.
What sets movie houses apart, other than location? Often, not much. But most theaters do have their little idiosyncrasies, and a few offer something different enough to earn a special trip.
When discussing Milwaukee’s cinema sites, you must start at the Oriental Theatre (2230 N. Farwell Ave.) – with its old-school class, the Cary Grant of local theaters.
Entering the massive and ornate main theater on a Friday night is a step back in time. A couple dances in the wide aisle to “Send in the Clowns,” being played by Bill, the 91-year-old musician seated at the large Kimball pipe organ on the right side of the stage. Six gigantic shining Buddhas, complete with glowing red jewels in their headwear, adorn the walls and stoically oversee the proceedings. Before the movie starts, the organist (while still playing) and his instrument slowly sink into the stage as a few dozen moviegoers applaud. I briefly feel like I’m in a scene from a David Lynch film (minus Dennis Hopper or the baffling plot twists). You don’t get that kind of movie experience everywhere.
If the Oriental is Cary Grant, then the Majestic Cinema (770 Springdale Rd., Brookfield) is Tom Cruise (before he started acting really weird) – a slick-but-potent crowd pleaser. The Majestic, which opened in May 2007, has a large lobby with leather armchairs, player piano and free Wi-Fi. (Who really needs that besides movie critics on a tight deadline?) Its Palladium dinner theater offers drinks and a full menu, which is nice. But what makes The Majestic ultracool are the two 500-seat UltraScreens. The three-story screens are 32 feet tall and 75 feet wide, perfect for summer blockbusters and action flicks. However, based on personal experience, even an awe-inspiring screen doesn’t make Superhero Movienot suck.
After the harrowing experience of such subpar filmmaking, I take refuge in the Take Five Lounge. That’s right, The Majestic has a bar inside the theater, perfect for date night or to help alleviate the mental anguish caused by bad comedy.
The Majestic is the Marcus Corporation’s crown jewel. The other six Marcus Theatres are pretty similar to each other, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Marcus knows how to run its theaters. They’re all clean and well-staffed. The Ridge, Menomonee Falls, South Shore Cinemas and The Majestic also include the glorious self-service soda bar – unlimited amounts of Diet Pepsi, Mountain Dew or whatever other fountain beverage you prefer. Caffeine and sugar overload are as much a part of the moviegoing experience as the idiot behind you loudly extolling the virtues of Katherine Heigl’s cleavage.
Marcus’ Ridge Cinemas (5200 S. Mooreland Rd., New Berlin) has a soda bar, 20 screens to choose from, and “Spider” (I promise that’s what his nametag said), the most amiable of ticket takers. As he tears my ticket, the tuxedo-clad amateur reviewer informs me, “Junois a lighthearted and entertaining comedy that I think you’ll really like.”
Spider (Roger Ebert, take note) is dead on. But I have to wonder what Spider says when taking tickets to a movie that stinks. Maybe, “Have a nice time. Our Milk Duds are especially fresh this week.” Not sure. I just can’t imagine the good-natured dude lying to people who just bought admission to the latest Lindsay Lohan bomb.
IPic Entertainment (Bayshore Town Center) is for viewers who want to be pampered. Plush red loveseats (available with a VIP ticket) provide nap-inducing comfort, and the ticket includes free popcorn. Digital picture and sound provide an astonishingly clear viewing experience. IPic also allows you to bring in drinks from the lobby bar. Don’t underestimate the ability of Maker’s Mark to pull you through an especially excruciating movie. (Guys, this is the perfect place to suggest when the wife or girlfriend wants to drag you to the latest chick flick.)
“Screens 17 and 18” sounds like the title of a bad horror movie or top-secret military project. They are indeed a pretty secretive part of AMC Mayfair (2500 N. Mayfair Rd., Wauwatosa): Two screens that are remnants of a failed premium movie concept by the previous owner, General Cinemas. They seat just 82 viewers and feature wide, comfortable brown leather chairs and loveseats with tables. Small, independent films or movies on their last legs are likely to show up on Screens 17 and 18.
The Times Cinema (5906 W. Vliet St.) is like seeing a movie in a bar. The seats aren’t in the best shape, the sound isn’t the greatest, but there’s cold beer and the ambiance of an old moviehouse. The Times has also developed a reputation for showing midnight movies. Never seen Blade Runneror This Is Spinal Tapon the big screen? The Times will likely give you that chance. (If you haven’t seen them on the small screen either, then I’m afraid you need more help than the Times can offer.)
In 1999, the Rosebud Cinema Drafthouse (6823 W. North Ave.), which now has the same ownership as the Times, successfully matched beer and food with a movie. (Doesn’t that seem like such an obvious pairing? Right up there with Tracy and Hepburn, Depp and Burton, Nicolas Cage and bad reviews.) The Rosebud has quality taps like Sprecher Amber and Riverwest Stein, and the stellar “Pint Glass Special.” Buy your first beer in a pint glass for $8. Refills are $2 and you keep the glass. This practice can pay off big during any three-hour epic, but not so much at an 80-minute comedy.
The Fox Bay Cinema Grill (334 E. Silver Spring Dr., Whitefish Bay) is similar, but offers a more diverse menu. (Grilled yellowfin tuna; are you kidding me?) Fox Bay also has a stadium layout with swiveling chairs instead of the couches that seat patrons at the Rosebud.
These are the most distinctive theaters in town. You’ll find the rest rated in the accompanying table, filled with scientific cinematic analysis. For a truly enjoyable trip to the theater, though, my advice is to begin with what’s being shown on the screen. Choose your flicks wisely, or ask Spider for suggestions.
That’s our rating. What’s yours? Tell us your favorite and least favorite movie theaters in town: post a comment and you can be the critic.
