A good friend of mine found herself single a couple of weeks ago and I devised a plan to get her hand out of the Lucky Charms box and into stilettos for anything but a girl’s night out.
Where did we go? Hi-Hat (1701 N. Arlington Pl.), but of course.
What did we do? Shopped* for men.
Are we allowed to do that? Figuratively, yes. In reality, no. Handcuffs generally clash with this season’s purple sweater dress.
How did we do that? With a few of Hi-Hats most creatively poured martinis and a tequila shot to wash them down with.
Surprised? Well, you shouldn’t be.
Men, here’s the secret the ladies don’t want you to know. While you sit at the bar on the ground level, chatting up your flannel clad groupies, the ladies are upstairs, sitting at circular tables looking out and over the banisters, deciding which boy to try on for size.
On your end men, they‘re called tacky pick-up-lines, surprise bump-and-grinds and an empty telephone line. At least for us ladies, we have the decency to “accidentally” bump into you, drop our purse so you feel obligated to pick it up or act like we’ve met before. That last one is a personal favorite and has worked many times.
Hopefully, after one or all of those little tricks have been applied, you will have gotten completely lost in our perfectly lined eyes and feel compelled to keep the conversation going.
So, just in case you are wondering our thought process during an evening at Hi- Hat, here is what generally happens. As soon as we get to the sipping we get to the shopping. Typically, almost any guy will suffice for an evening of flirtatious chatter. But, trust me, there needs to be strictly enforced rules. Men we typically will not shop for, even if they are on sale are those that:
– have a freaky growth attached to their hip a.k.a. the possible girlfriend
– are wearing some sort of purse type accessory
– are infected with the white sock/black shoe virus
– have a cigarette tucked ever so daintily behind one ear
So, once our future purchases have passed the initial test, it’s time to survey the situation. This involves making sure all signs point to yes when it comes to single, straight and somewhat sane. A little crazy can be good; a lot of crazy can be restraining order.
Now, again, if you are doing this at Hi- Hat ladies, it’s important that you don’t mess up your game. It is all too easy, while leaning over the banister, to accidentally spill a little liquid courage out of the glass and on top of a potential purchase; what’s worse, it could be a potential investment buy! So, by all means, keep the tumblers on the table. We want him to tear up because of your innate beauty, not because he has margarita in his eye, got it?
After the initial, “Hey baby, how you doin’” equivalent, the rest is up to your instincts. Remember to get an answer to single, straight and sane within the first three minutes. This will deter any possible wasted time on someone who is just not available.
And if it turns out he isn’t the bargain or the investment purchase you initially sought after, remember, you can always trot your fine self up the stairs and around the corner to Hi-Hat’s adjoining dance club, The Garage. Be sure to text your fellow bargain hunters and let them know you’ve moved on. Unless you want to keep all the delicious free samples that hang out on the dance floor to yourself. Go on, indulge a little bit.
Whereas my single friends will be hitting the social scene this weekend, damming Sweetest Day for the Hallmark holiday that they claim it to be, I will be in my own little Hallmark holiday world, enjoying my favorite time a year one Pumpkin Pie Cocktail and big cozy sweater at a time.
The Social (170 S. First St.) has the most divine fall drink menu I have ever laid my eyes on. Hot Buttered Rum, Autumn Sidecar and the Pumpkin Pie Cocktail are three more reasons to smile while putting the remaining flip-flops in the box marked “Summer Clothes ‘09”. I promise to sample them all and give you a full report next week.
* In no way should the act of paying some form of currency be considered in the description. It is just an overt way of describing how the writer and the writer’s friends chose to have fun when they are at a certain Milwaukee establishment.
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 15
8 p.m. – midnight @ Tequila Rita’s (1131 N. Water St.)
Sometimes, three is no better cure for the mid-week blues than a hard-hitting Long Island Ice Tea. Tequila Rita’s has you covered this Wednesday by giving them away! Well, not really you still have to pay $2 but that’s almost free, right? They are also offering up $2 house margaritas, on the rocks of course!
8 p.m. – 2 a.m. @ SoHo 7(231 E. Buffalo St.)
Ladies, tonight is your night at this Third Ward hot-spot. Come dressed to impress and watch the red carpet (and the drinks) roll out.
7 p.m. – close @ Cuvee (177 N. Broadway)
It’s all about the BBQ and Bubbly, of course! Come and enjoy barbecue, baguettes, and a glass of Gruet’s Blanc de Noir. All of this for only $11.00. Thanks to Cuvee, the midweek blues are no longer.
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 16
8 p.m. – 2 a.m. @ Decibel/Deep Bar (1905 E. North Ave.)
It’s Ladies Night tonight and Decibel plans on taking care of everyone. Two free martini’s for the ladies and no cover all night long. Gentlemen, start your engines!
7 p.m. – close @ The Social (170 S. First St.)
The Weekend Warm Up is here with $3 you call its all night long.
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 17
4 p.m. -6 p.m. @ Hooligan’s (2017 E. North Ave.)
Happy Hour has never tasted so good. Pull up a stool and shell out not a lot of dough for $2 tap beers, $3 micro brews, $4 imports, $2.75 bottles of select beers and $4.50 rail cocktails..
SATURDAY, OCTOBER 18
8 p.m. – midnight @ The Social (170 S. First St.)
If you are in the mood for some 60’s soul music, then you better stroll on down to the Fifth Ward. Shake your groove thang all night long to the sounds of Kings Go Forth and The Get Down DJs.
SUNDAY, OCTOBER 19
3 p.m. – 2 a.m. @ Balzac
Get “Elegantly Wasted” tonight as selected bottles and glass pours of wine are ½ off. Not a Sunday drinker? Join them Monday-Friday for the same special from 3 -7 p.m.
MONDAY, OCTOBER 20
3p.m. – 2 a.m. @ Hi-Hat (1701 N. Arlington Pl.)
Get a $1 Bag of Beer at Hi-Hat. You won’t know what you get and they don’t want to hear your whining if you don’t like it. In the words of the bartender I spoke to, “Just drink it and shut up. It’s a dollar!”
TUESDAY, OCTOBER 21
7 p.m. – close @ Cuvee (177 N Broadway)
POP ‘TIL YOU DROP with Cuvee’s Service Industry Night! Purchase a "split" (187ml) bottle of sparkling wine or champagne and receive the next split half price (of equal or lesser value.)
**Speaking of Cuvee, be sure to keep checking Bar Time for the latest info on their upcoming 1 Year Anniversary Party. Also, they are in the process of securing weekly live entertainment. More details on that in the coming weeks.
