“You’re going to Judges! Why?”
When I told my coworkers the bar of choice for the week, I was met with confusion and disbelief. Most had something to say about the establishment with the notoriously young crowd. One said she and her friends used to bring straws to drink out of their $1 pitchers. My manager actually suggested going to Judges as a joke, saying I’d find plenty to observe. And with the consistent reaction I was getting for simply mentioning the bar, I knew I was onto something. By the end of my shift, I had a crew prepared to subject themselves to the spectacle. They were offering moral support, and hey, maybe things had changed at Judges. They haven’t.
We walked up to the entrance on North Avenue (1431 E. North Ave.), just before the bridge. “Last time I was here I got mugged,” recalls a friend, doing her part to beef up anticipation.
I made it up one step, saw what we are about to get into and briefly turned around. No more than two minutes passed and at least 10 dudes manifested out of the shadows to form a line. “How old are you?” I ask the nearest guy. “Nineteen,” he responds without hesitation.
We lingered a moment longer before facing the music. Three bouncers were ready to check IDs and collect the $5 cover, which includes a bottomless plastic cup, always a sign of a classy establishment. The ID checking, black light technology is deceiving. You’d think for sure the scanner could spot a fake, but after looking around, I think the device might be broken.
We stepped to the side to discuss the $5 fee; I felt bad about my moral-support team paying for such anticipated mediocrity. Bouncer No. 3 took notice of our uncertainty and gave us the go ahead. I can only assume it was because we are women.
Upon entering, unfortunately, my first order of business was a visit to the bathroom, a pattern I’ve got to stop. The line of shrieking girls dressed to impress and mounted on wobbly stilettos made me cringe. I’ve never seen so many girls with braces at a bar. I asked a couple of the giggling co-eds waiting in line why they were there, and they didn’t know — it was their first time, which was a common response.
I made it back out and joined the others. The action continued and a fight broke out at the entrance, a few feet away from us. At this point, we walked around the U-shaped bar to the more open area with two pool tables depressingly covered with plywood and more dudes, just sitting. This hurt my heart. We couldn’t even zone out of our surroundings with a game of pool.
The floors were soaked, and I was forced to tiptoe around in beer. Doing so, I noticed another, smaller bar off to the corner, but standing shoulder-to-shoulder in most areas, we decided to catch some air on the large outdoor patio. We circled around a table to collect ourselves.
“I just can’t believe we’re here,” someone says, voicing what we were all thinking. A boy with a perfect blonde hair flip came over and picked up a fleece on a nearby chair. I asked why he was there, and he didn’t know either. “Cheap drinks?” he questions, adding that he likes the bar and the people as well. “You guys come here a lot?” he asks. We joked with him, perhaps a little too meanly, and told him how much we love the spot and couldn’t wait to get back.
Alas, I’d seen enough, and we were definitely all ready to go. Refusing to walk back through the bar, three of my friends left by leaping over the fence. The rest of us exited the normal way and passed a few men, likely in their 30s, who were suspect just for being there. Outside, a girl in high heels was walking away from the bar when she began to lean like the iPhone application where you balance the tipsy character by rotating the phone. We leaned with her as though it would help straighten her out. She came back to sit on the curb and, presumably, wait for her group. My friend sat next to her for a bit to make sure she had a way home. Eventually, we left, knowing we’d never go back again, and I began breathing a bit easier.
Which bars have you been to that don’t deserve a second chance? Let us know in the comments.
Cactus Club
2496 S. Wentworth Ave.
Thursday, Nov. 19
9:30 p.m.
Collections of Colonies of Bees, Canyons of Static, This is Versailles
Stonefly Brewery
735 E. Center St.
Friday, Nov. 20
9 p.m.
Young Republic, Hayward Williams, Matthew Davies
Apartment 720
720 N. Milwaukee St.
Saturday, Nov. 21
This weekend, LMFAOperform on the official Party Rock tour. $100 bottles of Belvedere vodka.
Benno’s Genuine Bar & Grill
7413 W. Greenfield Ave.
Mondays
$1 off all taps, and three sliders for $3.
Rustico Pizzeria
223 N. Water St.
Mondays
I’m excited about this one. From 9 p.m.-close, take advantage of $1 slice night.
Blackbird
3007 S. Kinnickinnic Ave.
Tuesdays
Blackbird offers one of my new favorite Happy Hour specials: Free tacos from Hector’s, 4-8 p.m., or until supplies last. Also, $4 margaritas and $2 Pacifico and Corona.
Polish Falcon’s Nest 725
801 E. Clarke St.
Wednesdays
Open Bowl on the oldest lanes in town. And it only costs $3.25 a game plus $1 for shoes.
Decibel
1905 North Ave.
Thursdays
Hey ladies! Free drinks until midnight. Everyone else pays $3 for Stoli drinks. Not bad. No cover.
Hi Hat Lounge & Garage
1701 N. Arlington Pl.
Thursdays
Ladies Night: DJs Kid Cut Up and Steve Marxx. Two complimentary drinks for the ladies.
Kenadee’s Ultra Pub
718 N. Milwaukee St.
Fridays
Bitch Pleeze Fridays: Ladies drink free mixers every Friday from 10 p.m.-midnight. Kenny Perez provides the music. No cover. No dress code.
Brocach Irish Pub and Restaurant
1850 N. Water St.
Monday-Friday
From 3:30 to 6 p.m., try happy hour: half off all top-shelf Irish and scotch whiskies. 20 oz. pint of Guinness and shot of Powers for $6.25. $5 wines by the glass.
Café Lulu
2265 S. Howell Ave.
Monday-Friday
Join the Lulu crew and watch Cash Cab from 4-5 p.m. Enjoy $1 off all rail drinks, tap beer and wine.
Bryant’s Cocktail Lounge
1579 S. 9th St.
Tuesday-Friday
Old-Fashioned Cocktail Hour from 5-9 p.m. Half-price Depression-era cocktails, including the signature Old-Fashioned.
