Robby Ginepri lost in the French Open’s fourth round on Monday, which got me wondering a bit.
First, how is a guy named Robby Ginepri a tennis player instead of a bantamweight?
And more importantly, how did an American man manage to win three matches at the French?
Seriously, U.S. men succeed at the French Open like French men succeed at war. The last time one of our boys won Over There, George W. Bush was doing a good job. As governor of Texas.
It was 1999, and 13th-seeded Andre Agassi took a break from his Canon endorsement deal to beat Andrei Medvedev in a five-set final. Before that, Jim Courier (remember him?) won twice in 1991 and ’92, while Michael Chang (remember him?) won in 1989.
And surely you recall the American who won it before Chang. Because who could forget the legendary Tony Trabert and his triumphant run? In 1959.
So if you’re scoring at home, that’s four U.S. champs in 50 years of the French. Rickie Weeks thinks that’s a bad batting average.
But here’s another way of looking at it. If they ever build a Mount Rushmore of American men’s tennis, some combination of these five guys should be on it: John McEnroe, Jimmy Connors, Pete Sampras, Arthur Ashe and Bill Tilden (who dominated the 1920s).
All told, they have as many French Open titles as I do. And here’s a shot of me playing my A-game.
I say we make an offer to the French. We’ll stop sending them tennis players if they stop sending us Gerard Depardieu. That way, everybody wins.
This week’s pop quiz
According to China’s recently released Olympics guide for visiting foreigners, what should you not do at the Summer Games?
1) Sleep outside. It’s prohibited “to maintain public hygiene and the cultured image of the cities.” Sorry campers.
2) Be a prostitute, drug trafficker or smuggler. Sorry Han Solo.
3) Have a contagious condition or a mental disease. Sorry Gary Busey.
4) Display a slogan or banner that is insulting, political or religious and “disturbs the public order.” Sorry Rainbow Wig Guy.
5) All of the above. Sorry Olympic movement.
In other news…
Less dread for Ned
And sorry that no column was posted last week, by the way. It took awhile for the grill to warm up over Memorial Day weekend.
Almost as long as it’s taken the Brewers to warm up.
Now that we’re past Memorial Day – and thank you, veterans, who deserve far more than good barbecue – it’s officially no longer early in baseball world. Ned Yost seems to have noticed, finally making substantive changes to his lineup in an attempt to shake things up.
His main moves:
* Bill Hall has become a $24 million platoon player, now sitting against righties in deference to Triple-A callup Russell Branyan. Hall’s complaints aside, Russell The Muscle already has three homers in 24 at bats, while Hall has a lot more time to think about where he’ll be traded to.
* Jason Kendall, and not a Brewers pitcher, is finally batting eighth instead of ninth. That’s saved J.J. Hardy from appearing on a very special episode of “Dr. Phil.” Because for whatever reason, when Hardy batted seventh in front of the pitcher, he was admittedly a psychological mess.
The lineup moves, along with some quality pitching and a return to Miller Park, have worked wonders. Heading into Monday’s series against Arizona, the Brewers had won seven of their last nine games. Sunday’s 10-1 smashing of Houston got the Crew’s record to 29-28, putting them above .500 for the first time since the first week of May.
The rally has toned down requests for a Ned Yost voodoo doll giveaway, and it seems the manager’s job is safe. For now, anyway.
Because even with all the winning, Milwaukee remained seven games behind the red-hot Chicago Cubs. In fact, on June 1, the Cubs had the best record in baseball. (And the last time that happened was 1908, which was also the last time the Cubs didn’t have to “Wait Til Next Year.”)
Moreover, the Brewers still have to prove they can win on the road, something none of Yost’s teams have ever done.
But let’s not spoil the good vibes coming from the land of Brewers. In fact, let’s add to them. Enjoy something else to smile about, courtesy of the Sports Illustrated Vault.
Speaking of winning baseball…
Here’s one way the Brewers could guarantee a playoff berth. Win 75 games in a row.
Unthinkable? Not quite. Because that’s exactly what a high school baseball team from the tiny town of Homer, Mich., did a few years back.
I was still a sportswriter in Michigan when the Homer Trojans set the national prep record for consecutive victories, a streak that spanned two seasons and included a state championship. What’s more, they did it against a backdrop of political infighting that made Democratic rules committee meetings seem calm.
Now the story has been told in a new book, Homer: The Small-Town Baseball Odyssey. I mention it here not just as a shameless plug for author Jeff Karzen, one of my former colleagues, but because it’s a tale that goes to the heart of all that’s good (and sometimes bad) about the role sports plays in a small community. Plenty of Wisconsinites should have no trouble relating.
And finally
Now that our long national nightmare about Brett Favre’s locker is over, Packers fans can start worrying about more important things.
Like canceling their subscription to the Sporting News. Or Aaron Rodgers pulling rank on Brian Brohm.
Or even, thanks to ESPN.com, creating their own online shrine to Brett.
So now the folks at Favre’s Steakhouse have shrine competition.
Tune in every Tuesday morning from 6 a.m. to 7 a.m. when I join Doug Russell and Mike Wickett on SportsRadio 1250 AM. And don’t forget to check out our Bar Time column.
